Meet The Feebles

What is your favorite Peter Jackson movie? Braindead? Of course, this is a brilliant piece of art and probably the best comedy splatter movie ever made. So what is your second most favorite Jackson flick? Certainly Bad Taste but not for me.

Years ago, while I was on vacation with a few friends, I discovered this adult puppet movie in a dirty, little, obscure Dutch DVD shop. At that age I hadn’t quite a clue about B-Movies and I only had seen a few of the masterpieces like Braindead, Dead Dudes In The House, Dawn of the Dead, From Dusk till Dawn, and Slime City but I had never heard of Meet The Feebles.

One good thing about Holland is that nobody gives a damn shit about cutting, censoring and confiscating movies. I was eased because if the movie sucked asses, at least it would be an un-cut version of an ass-sucking movie. This may sounds weird but an un-cut version calms me down. I am more afraid of a censored or cut movie than of a bullshit movie. Call me if you want to interview the first human-being diagnosed with censorphobia.

I thought a lot about how to review this movie not by repeating myself but by bringing across the brilliancy of the story. I decided doing this by simply listing different characters and by describing them in a few words. Trust me it is going to work and at the end you can’t wait to see this perverse piece of shit.

First of all, the story is about The Feebles Variety Show, where all actors (except one) are puppets, wired, disgusting, sick, sexy and insane puppets! Here is the description of some of the wonderful cast:

Bletch (walrus) is the manager of the show. He is an abusing bastard who’s together with Heidi but fucks around with Samantha, the whore cat. Furthermore he runs a porno production.

Heidi (hippo) the female star of the show and responsible for a huge puppet massacre.

Trevor (rat) is Bletch’s assistant, porno director and drug dealer in one. A rat in just every fucking way.

Wynyard (frog) came back from Vietnam and is a complete drug addict. This dude is so nuts that he even manages to impale himself during a performance.

Harry (rabbit) is the male star of the show. As he is a rabbit he also screws like one. He gets a bit crazy believing most of the time that he is dying from a sexual transmitted disease.

Sebastian (fox) is a gay, extremely hyper-active chorus director.

Still not laughing, facepalming or shaking your head at this nonsense you just read? Read it again and remember that there are a whole bunch of other sick bastards. Meet the Feebles clearly makes a fool of the muppets, which results in a perverse melodramatic blood’n’trash orgy. My eyes pee every time I watch this shit. A beautiful movie for young and old!