Sharknado

Sharknado (2013) is a modern low-budget, disaster B-Movie directed by Anthony Ferrante and produced by the production/distribution company The Asylum, which is also responsible for Syfy trash gems like Mega Shark Versus Crocosaurus (2010), Mega Python vs. Gatoroid (2011) and 2-Headed Shark Attack (2012).

Even though I am a big trash aficionado who has seen a few Asylum productions and knew what to expect more or less, those responsible go the extra mile more than once. I even have to admit that it was quite hard to imagine how they could possibly turn this movie title into a film because, let’s be honest, three hurricanes which whirl up highly aggressive and man-eating sharks sweep across Los Angeles to let the sharks rain down on the goofy residents is, even for a trash movie, quite over the top.

Sharknado is the ultimate collection of the worst of the worst. The director of photography and the post-production guys must have been high while working on this film. There is no other explanation for the dreadful, illogical, odd and redundant camera shots, cuts and transitions which, finally, are accentuated by the worst CGI effects I have ever seen. The incompetent cast nearly made me cry and Tara Reid shows us what she can do best, namely nothing. Only John Heard seems to have heard of the word “acting” before.

Sharknado is (like) a Roland Emmerich movie done without a budget, with even more awkward dialogues and stupid pseudo-trash quotes (we can’t just wait here and wait for sharks to rain down on us again). I  like the ragtagged and far-fetched premise and I stopped having strong feelings about (bad) CGI and movie mistakes in independent cinema but especially the central part of Sharknado is congested with padding material which obfuscates the trash ambience and lets the movie drift into boredom, which is fatal when it comes to B-Movies. If you decide to create something as excessive and nuts as Sharknado you have to create a humorous atmosphere and Anthony Ferrante doesn’t want to or simply isn’t capable of creating one.  As I said before, the premise is brilliant, but Sharknado wasn’t able to measure up to my expectations. Bummer!

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