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Schedule change

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I’ve given this careful consideration and it’s clear to me that after managing and providing content alone for El Gore these past twelve months, I have to change the schedule a bit.

Starting next week, there will only be one guaranteed review per week, instead of the usual two, for two simple reasons:

1) aside from my full-time job, I have quite a few other hobbies that require a lot of time and, most of all, I also need some private time,t
2) the early months of the year are always kind of slow when it comes to music releases, so it’s hard to find records that I enjoy and thus want to review.

It is very likely that in the summer months, when more albums are being released, that you will get two or even three reviews a week, but for now I’d rather do one proper one, instead of half-assing two.

I can promise you one thing though: I am NOT willing to bury El Gore! Because I love doing what I do!

Last but not least, if you feel like writing reviews as a freelancer, be sure to hit me up on the Facebook page!

~The one-man El Gore team~

Win big with El Gore, again in 2014

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Good morning!

Yesterday marked our last review of the year, and we would like to thank you so much for the continuous interest and support in 2014! Despite heavy staff changes, we managed to provide you with fresh reviews every single week, except the month-off in August. We are highly motivated to keep doing so in the new year as well!

What’s next, you ask? Well, today marks the start of a big competition that is going down on our Facebook page, where you can win a copy of every Luxembourgish release that came out this year, and that we wrote about, so be sure to head there right now! It’s going to go on for exactly seven days!

Next week we will publish our yearly top 5 lists and then we’ll go on a holiday break until most likely January 6th 2015, possibly a week later.

So, again, thank you from the bottom of our hearts! Good luck in the contest and have an enjoyable holiday season, if that’s what you’re into, or simply party hard during the remaining days of the year!

Read you soon!


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We’ve decided to do something fun for the whole family: a quadruple movie review. Therefor we chose a movie that none of us really knew but which seemed interesting enough to get a reaction out of everyone.

Teeth (2007) is a horror film which was written and directed by Mitchell Lichtenstein. It premiered at Sundance in 2007 where it was claimed to be one of the most talked-about films. To sum up, Teeth is about Dawn, a high school student, who suffers from a primary sexual characteristics abnormality, which she learns to use as an advantage when she becomes the victim of sexual assault.


Rotten Tomatoes describes Teeth as follows: Smart, original, and horrifically funny, Teeth puts a fresh feminist spin on horror movie tropes.

To be straightforward with you, I didn’t like the film at all. The pacing is incredibly boring and stands in no relation to the trashy subject itself. The humour is just miserable. Horror? Sorry but if you see any, you also call Forest Gump a soft porn movie. Two or three bitten off penises and fingers are just not enough. It seems that director Mitchell Lichtenstein has never heard of “creating an atmosphere”.

Furthermore, I have no idea what Lichtenstein wants to tell me. Teeth has absolutely no clear vision. There are simply too many different topics/genre elements in the movie which, to top it all, don’t work. The subject of feminism, which is the most obvious one, can be taken as serious as the subject of sexism in slasher/horror movies. The boys/men are portrayed as primitive sex demoniacs and act completely unnatural.

Furthermore I am pretty certain that the director was unsure about how to explain the vagina dentata phenomenon. On the one hand he throws in a few mythical elements (and I even was expecting some Sigmund Freud too), on the other hand we see this nuclear power plant all the time (nuclear mutation of the vagina?) The ending is representative for the whole flick. Lichtenstein tries to build up a twist ending (which you recognize pretty early), rethinks his decision and follows the path of a rape and revenge movie. Teeth bases on a great idea, wants too much and results in a mess.



When we first talked about which movie to pick I was intrigued by this one, because quite frankly: the plot outline had a lot of potential. A young girl has teeth in her vagina and becomes a man-eater… literally. Man, was I wrong! I don’t watch a lot of films of this genre, so I had no idea how bad a movie can be. All I know is that at times I wish I was the one who was subjected to penectomy, because that would probably have been less painful to endure than these ninety minutes of garbage.

The acting was pretty terrible from start to finish, the cut-off penises looked as credible as a pink elephant’s trunk and the music left my ears with a bad case of aural diarrhea. My personal “highlight” was Dawn‘s incestuous brother who was supposed to be the tough metalhead with terribly-done make-up tattoos and a Rottweiler as his best friend. The one thing that this movie has taught me is that people who don’t masturbate on a regular basis will go completely bat-shit-crazy at some point. So in order to keep mentally healthy, choke that chicken (or rub that duck) as often you possibly can.



A good lesson this movie taught me: any movie with a laurel shrub on the poster is no guarantor for a masterpiece. As Teeth tries to caricature America’s prude position on sexuality, with organisations like The Ring ThingTeeth is nothing but a disappointing attempt to mimic this oddball attitude of (mostly) young Christians. What is really frustrating is the fact that Teeth is too good to be called trashy and too bad to be considered a serious flick. It’s neither dick nor beaver, hence the intimidating teeth. The plot twist, if you can call it so, is as predictable as North Korea’s annual declarations of war and the step-brother’s tattoos are as true as Christian black metal.

I am not a nucular expert, but only because the family lives next to a nuclear plant does not mean that you turn into some kind of penis-eating gargoyle; unless I’m missing out the latest news of Fukushima.

Two things are for sure though: some roles will stick to the actor for a whole lifetime and in this case, Jess Weixler will forever be known as the girl with the toothed gash. And last but not least; I will never ever say “I’ll chop my fingers off for that girl” again.



I went into the film with an open mind because it has undeniable potential. I recognise that it tries to tackle important social issues — most notably, it criticises the puritanical (and, it must be said, characteristically American) attitudes kids are taught in sex ed that end up causing more harm than good. Dawn‘s biology textbook depicts the anatomy of the penis, but the schematic illustration of the vagina is covered up by a large sticker because “girls have a natural modesty”, and so Dawn walks about the earth not really knowing what the female sex organ typically looks like and how it works. Both Dawn and her crush at the beginning of the film have made a sacred vow of abstinence because of their Christian indoctrination. The guy ends up attempting and semi-succeeding at raping Dawn because he is a violently horny bundle of sexual repression after, and this is a direct quote, not having jerked off since Easter.

Those are fair criticisms, but unfortunately, the execution leaves a lot to be desired. The acting is cheesy and the storyline erratic. In combination with technical slip-ups like overstated sound effects, it gives the movie a cheap, silly vibe. Furthermore, as Luc said, I’m not sure what the aim of this movie is. Is it trying to make a point about sexual violence, sexual repression, the sexual behaviour of teenagers, incest or female empowerment? Probably all of these, but it doesn’t work. I couldn’t detect the comedy in it, either. And so it ends up being just another vacuous, ill-executed pseudo-thriller with a few gore shots thrown in on the side in an attempt to make it marketable to the horror crowd.

~ Anna ~


To be honest with you, at first we didn’t think we’d all be agreeing but Teeth, despite its great potential, sucks dick (pun intended). Don’t waste your time and forget this movie…


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To be honest, I do not remember how I came across this 1981 Disney action comedy. It is said that Condorman is an adaptation of a book called The Game of X. Well, I have never heard of it but one thing is for sure, Condorman is a spy movie, or rather a James Bond parody. To go on,  I even can’t tell you if I liked it or not but in the end it didn’t bore me at all and that’s something most of the James Bond movies can’t say of themselves.

The movie is all about Woodrow Wilkins a comic book writer and illustrator. His newest invention is Condorman, a secret agent with the awkwardness and dopiness of Inspector Clouseau but the coolness and gadget-amorousness of 007. Woodrow’s goal is to create real-life adventures for Condorman and before he can say knife it is him who, during a civilian paper swap in Istanbul, personally turns into the hero . During the rest of the movie Woodrow tries to rescue the ex-KGB special agent Natalia from her own boss Krokov and his army of pseudo assassins. Supported with a Condormobile, a Condorboat, a Condorsuit, Condorman, Harry (a friend from the CIA)  and Natalia deliver a relentless pursuit with the villans through Yugoslavia, Italy, Switzerland and finally Monte Carlo.

Condorman with Michael Crawford and Barbara Carrera is quite a costly trash movie. Furthermore it is not the James Bond parody itself and the rather corny and flat jokes which make this movie still watchable. Personally I think it is the unintentional gags, the charming movie mistakes and the Disney-naivety. Even though I hold that Charles Jarrott had absolutely no idea of how to handle the budget of the movie (less explosions, less locations, more professionalism) I go with John Corry of The New York Times who wrote in his review: “(…)There are worse things to watch while you eat popcorn.”

Last but not least, is it just me who thinks that the Condorman logo has some similarities with the German WWII Reichsadler or do you know what I mean?!

One year of El Gore and the winner of our big number two

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Yup, you read that correctly. 366 days ago we published our first review and since then we’ve published a total of 41 movie reviews and 53 music reviews. We’ve also reported from the Food For Your Senses festival and the 10th anniversary concert of the EMF. 2012 has also seen the addition of three new members that have helped make our goal of world domination come closer…we’re getting there.

We want to say THANK YOU to you, dear readers, and we promise that we’re far from being done!

As you might have noticed, we have changed our design…which is only half true: we departed from Tumblr and migrated to WordPress. And we hope to bring you an updated, custom design in the near future. So keep an eye out for that.

And last but not least, the winner of our anniversary contest is: Carole. Congratulations!

-El Gore team-