Kondom des Grauens (Killer Condom)

Beware of carnivorous condoms in New York! The ravenous little bastards feed off of male genitalia and no one knows what their deal is. The first known case takes us back to the Quicky hotel, where a corrupt teacher took his student to let her “work” her way up to better grades and eventually ended up with a mutilated penis. Unfortunately, what started as an only moderately regrettable hit of karma quickly spiralled way out of control.

Enter Luigi Mackeroni, the hero, the cop investigating the case. He is a chain-smoking badass with Sicilian roots who happens to be gay and has his trans ex-lover call him “Lutschi” whenever she pops up. Like everyone else, he initially thinks that the girl bit off the teacher’s penis, but is proven wrong when he witnesses a schlong-devouring wrapper in action at the notorious hotel. He then proceeds to take us on a hilariously bizarre journey that leads to the origin of the killer condoms.

Kondom des Grauens is the first Troma-distributed film (based on an equally screwed up cartoon by Ralf König) I’ve seen, and I loved it. Ridiculousness and excess are defining characteristics of the trash genre, and this jewel sure delivers. Just from the title and above summary you should be able to tell that taking it too seriously won’t allow you to enjoy the viewing experience.

But while you do have your cheesy one-liners, overblown characters and primitive sexual jokes, Kondom des Grauens also carries a very real message. It’s depressingly rare to see an openly homosexual lead in any film, and even rarer to have one as un-stereotypically gay as Mackeroni. Conservative views and general bigotry are challenged throughout the whole flick and especially in a big moment toward the end.

A special mention goes to the cast. Trash works are often ridiculed for the bad acting performances, and this might be the case for Kondom des Grauens on a technical level, but holy Mackeroni (sic), are these people charming. It actually reminded me that good characters are an indispensable foundation for a good trash/comedy film. Also, some of you Germans and Luxembourgers might spot one or two familiar faces. (Spoiler alert: look out for Hella von Sinnen and Iris Berben!)

So I was mightily amused and occasionally touched, which means that the movie fulfilled its purpose in my eyes. I’m sure it’s not without fault, but I was too entertained to pay attention, and that’s the way it should be.

MWTE – Attraction To Light

I’ve been following the career of electronic trio MWTE from Metz quite closely for a while because I’m a huge fan of their first release, and on Friday two weeks ago I finally held their second (and first physical) EP in my hands: Attraction To Light. The artwork left the first fair impression. There is something magical about vinyls, as evidenced by their revived popularity, and coupled with gorgeous artwork, the aesthetic and emotional appeal of them is heightened even more. Kudos to madeByhujo alias Victor Ferreira for capturing the mood of the record so well.

The EP consists of two original songs and two remixes of each by Herr2003, Armagnac, Sun Glitters and Chapelier Fou. It also features Camille Delvecchio of Grand Blanc, who provides the vocals for Dead And Gone.

The title track, Attraction To Light, immediately draws you in with its soothing, pulsating beat. It hits the perfect balance between relaxing and engaging. Personally, I’ve been listening to it while studying and writing, because it doesn’t impose itself enough to distract you from whatever you might be doing, but still induces vibrations in your brain that motivate you to be active in some way. The first remix by Herr2003 brings about much the same effect at first, though it is decidedly more housey and bouncy and will make you want to get up halfway through and start dancing like the devil. The Armagnac remix feels like a different piece altogether, except for some tiny glimmers of familiarity sprinkled throughout. It maintains the distinct house influence of the previous track but wraps it up in a less frenetic whole.

Then the Attraction To Light chapter closes, and along comes Dead And Gone. It is just an incredible song. Iconic, almost. I can envision it in a fancy commercial or as the title track of a movie. Camille Delvecchio’s beautiful vocals enhanced by echo effects and MWTE‘s dreamy style work together excellently. I hope they will collaborate more in the future, because that is — quite literally, from a sonic standpoint — a match made in heaven. Sun Glitters does not take half-measures with his take on the song, as it brims over with grandiose effects. I have to admit that it’s my least favourite track, which is mostly due to the lofty standards the original set, and also the outstanding work by Chapelier Fou. The final remix is a mellow masterpiece with a melancholically ethereal edge, such a divine cherry on top of a wonderful, wonderful record.

The only downside is that it left me wanting more, but I’m sure the guys will take care of that with such an overwhelmingly positive response from the listeners. I advise you keep an eye on them too, because, to let you in on a secret: I believe they will be big. They have all the credentials to go far in their genre and proved it beyond doubt with Attraction To Light.

You can listen to MWTE‘s new EP on Soundcloud and buy it here, show them some love on Facebook and follow them on Tumblr for additional updates.

[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/playlists/14270111″ params=”color=ff6600&auto_play=false&show_artwork=true” width=”100%” height=”450″ iframe=”true” /]

Five Finger Death Punch – The Wrong Side Of Heaven And The Righteous Side Of Hell


At the end of July Five Finger Death Punch released the first part of their double album, The Wrong Side Of Heaven And The Righteous Side Of Hell, and in November the second part followed, so I figured I’d review them both at the same time to decide whether it was worth being split in two. I’ll try to keep it as concise as possible…so here we go!

First the facts: Vol. 1 counts eleven tracks that have a run-time of forty-two minutes (fourteen songs à fifty-two minutes on the deluxe version), whereas Vol. 2 has twelve songs amounting to forty-one minutes. Both records have been recorded at the same studio and therefor share the same, flawless, production. Every instrument sounds really crisp and brings that “stadium-metal” feel with it, thus serving the fans what they are looking for.

In terms of musicianship nothing has really changed: neck-breaking riffs, pounding drum beats and aggressive screams alternating with melodic singing. However, I will go as far and say that this double album might be the band’s best work so far…but then again, the selection is also twice as big this time around. As on the three previous albums, the band has done a cover song again: Mama Said Knock You Out featuring Tech N9ne by LL Cool J on Vol. 1 and the well-known folk song House Of The Rising Sun on Vol. 2.

The biggest new element on this cycle is that the band has guest vocals on Vol. 1…and I’m not entirely sure how I’m supposed to feel about them. Let me elaborate: Judas Priest‘s Rob Halford fits nicely on Lift Me Up, Maria Brink adds a nice touch to Anywhere But Here and the above-mentioned Tech N9ne appearance mixes things up a bit…but I feel like they’re more of a gimmick than an actual part of the songs. Especially on the deluxe edition that is plainly obvious, since the three additional songs are alternate versions of regular songs which feature Jamey Jasta of Hatebreed and Max Cavalera of Soulfly. A bit unnecessary in my opinion.

All in all, 5FDP have definitely not left their comfort zone or re-invented themselves on these fourth and fifth albums…but it works. I do believe that they could have dropped a song or two on each album and made a single one instead…but in truth I can’t complain, since both have their appeal. Be sure to give the song below a listen and feel free to visit the band’s Facebook page for more information.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-2yuGgp_U8]

Cargo

Little gets me like father-child relationships, and nothing gets me like father-child relationships in bleak post-apocalyptic settings. This has to do with father-child dynamics (which I find fascinating), but mostly the concept of unconditional, selfless love in the face of a woefully hopeless future. I was bawling my eyes out 10 minutes into both the book and film adaptation of The Road when nothing had even really happened because the subject touches me so profoundly.

So when I tell you that Cargo by Ben Howling and Yolanda Ramke is about just that — a father-child relationship in a bleak post-apocalyptic setting — you can probably guess the way this review will turn out. Yes, a tear or two were shed. Heartstrings were pulled. But Cargo doesn’t go for the cheap drama shots and moral lessons. It isn’t a boastful, manipulative film. It’s gentle and cautious, and its brilliance lies in its impartiality. Except for some subtle musical accompaniment that rears up toward the end, there’s nothing to direct your emotions, not even dialogue. The raw tragedy of the storyline does the job.

I think many of us are a tad sick of the zombie genre by now because it seems like covered ground for the most part, but this picture is a must-watch. It’s hugely popular with over 5 million views on YouTube despite not winning any awards at the Tropfest festival, where it was originally screened. And with good reason. Watching it is a rewarding way to spend 7 minutes and 4 seconds of your day, I promise, and about 76 811 people are backing my claim as we speak. Beware, though, for it might also shatter you emotionally, especially if you’re a dad/parent yourself.

Find it embedded below, and let us know what you think if you’ve seen it or decide to do it now.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gryenlQKTbE]

Falling Promises – Dystopia


The long-awaited debut full-length of the Luxembourgish hardcore ensemble Falling Promises is about to be released and I’ve had the chance to listen to it before it comes out…so here are my thoughts on Dystopia!

After an intro featuring Charlie Chaplin’s world-famous speech from The Great Dictator, you are immediately hit in the face with crushing riffs and beats, before the first breakdown of these thirty-nine minutes sets in…and many will follow. While the over-use of breakdowns is often despised, I personally don’t mind it in this case because the songs were clearly written with a live setting in mind and therefor the (violent) danceability on here is extremely high.

This fact also entails a lot of chugging on both the guitars and drums, but I can assure you that there is enough melodic variation in between these parts. Especially the string department has some really cool surprises in tow, namely on the song Surface, which has this really nice djent vibe to it with its almost entrancing melody. Definitely my favorite among these ten tracks.

The vocals range from bone-shattering screams to extremely deep growls, which can rival the bass guitar…well almost. Performance-wise there is absolutely nothing to criticize and the guest apperance by Jesse Barnett of Stick To Your Guns is a nice little bonus. I should also mention that the production value of the album is as tight as can be, making the listening even more enjoyable, since it fits the genre perfectly.

As a closing statement, I would like to say that Dystopia is a beautiful monument for the band’s fallen brother…and that I wish them all the best in their future endeavors. I, for one, will follow their road from here on out, and you can do so too by checking their Facebook page. Listen to the song below and if you like what you hear, head on over to the Why Not pub in Dudelange this Friday for the release listening party of the album.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oQFStp9q9Q]

Weekend Nachos – Still

Tower of Rome once stated “We put the fun in funeral”. Guess this could be the best description for the biggest surprise coming from Illinois, best known for its catchy and original name Weekend Nachos and their newest gem Still. Just like putting fun into funeral; this band manages a difficult duty unlike any other; which is to sound serious and tough like the toughest hardcore act ever without losing focus on fun and not taking themselves too seriously; which is simply amazing and a fresh breeze for the tired listener’s ears.

Describing the musical style with genres is bullshit in this case; this is more than powerviolence. Take old school hardcore, mix it with a punk attitude (duuuh), give it some crust and grind influences, add a lot of anger (20 tons of pissed emotions are just fine) and voila, there you go.

The opener Sickened No More is the most amazing track to start a brand new listening experience. It knocks one out from the first second to the last, giving you not enough time to breathe or to realize what is going on. So does No Idols And No Heroes, guitars on 11 out of 10 and drumsets on the verge of destruction. This goes on for 12 tracks straight, a total 21 minutes of madness and anger.

This might be Weekend Nachos strongest point, speed and roughness. Just like a bastard child from Slayer and Terror that’s got this “childish” punk attitude that couldn’t make one happier. It’s just too hard to catalog or describe this band’s sound; one has to hear it in order to understand the extent aggressiveness and I just leave it right here with this video clip. Happy listening.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3PFaZtif_8]

Miami Connection

Last week I finally found some time to watch a movie and while I was thinking about what to watch I came across the Miami Connection trailer. I loved it and still do. There is a 80s rock band (with a pretty front woman) playing, there are motorcycle ninjas, gang fights, there is fire, cocaine and even some gore. You can’t go wrong with that, right? Well, you can. As much as I love the trailer and the fantastic movie poster, the movie is absolutely disastrous in its entirety.

Miami Connection (1987) is an indie martial arts film which was ignored and basically remained unseen for years, until Drafthouse Films decided to restore the movie in 2012 in order to give it a release.

Writer, producer and co-director Y.K. Kim, who is a taekwondo martial artist, clearly had no idea what he was doing and neither did the rest of his team. Film director Richard Park discovered Y.K. Kim when he was on a Korean talk show to promote a book about taekwondo. Park thought it was a good idea to convince a man who had no previous experience in the field to bring to life one of his storylines, and that’s how Miami Connection was born.

So, as I said, it’s painfully obvious that Y.K. Kim has no cinematographic knowledge or skill at all. The story is confusing as is (“A martial arts rock band goes up against a band of motorcycle ninjas who have tightened their grip on Florida’s narcotics trade“???), but on top of that, there are too many superfluous subplots which don’t add anything to the movie. The chronological order of the scenes is all over the place, there is no structure behind it. The whole movie is like a trailer: it doesn’t want to reveal too much about the actual plot, which is obviously suboptimal for a feature length film.

All in all, what I took away from this viewing experience was, once again, that the term “cult film” can be misleading. Many people don’t understand that even trash films can be inspirational and worthy of respect. Miami Connection, however, does not fit the bill.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpZu69OB2KM]