5 Mini Reviews of Fucked-Up Francophone Films

I’ve been delving into the world of French language horror/extreme cinema lately (not least because I want to improve my French), and as the movies are piling up, I decided to deviate from the usual Film Friday format and compile a list with 5 of my most recently watched flicks. I hope you’ll find one or two that spark your interest. Let’s get down to business without further ado!

#5 Frontière(s)

The plot according to IMDB: A gang of young thieves flee Paris during the violent aftermath of a political election, only to hole up at an Inn run by neo-Nazis.

Mini review: A messy mix between Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Hostel with some Nazi-horror peppered throughout (also, the head of the family reminds me of Dr. Heiter from The Human Centipede.) It starts out rather promising and has its moments, but it’s disappointing overall. I feel like the movie takes too many turns, includes too many elements and is inconsistent in its theme. It’s a clusterfuck of every monstrosity and method of torture imaginable, and unless you’re into that particular niche, I’d stay away from it.

#4 A l’intérieur

The plot according to IMDB: Four months after the death of her husband, a woman on the brink of motherhood is tormented in her home by a strange woman who wants her unborn baby.

Mini review: I don’t usually feel comfortable giving excessively brutal movies a positive rating, but A l’intérieur is an exception. Firstly, in terms of technicality, ambience, suspense and unpredictability, I think this film is amazing. Secondly, I don’t believe it can be described as torture porn for the simple reason that it shows graphic violence, but doesn’t glorify it. We’re painfully aware of the fact that we’re watching a heavily pregnant woman in peril and we’re rooting for her until the bitter end. Not once are we encouraged to relish in her anguish or enjoy what is being done to her. We’re encouraged to wish for the woman and her unborn child to make it out alive, never to get pleasure out of seeing them hurt. At the very least, A l’intérieur is the epitome of “effective.”

#3 Captifs

The plot according to IMDB: A group of medical aid workers in Kosovo is kidnapped by a non Slavic gang of organ traffickers.

Mini review: This is a solid horror film. The organ trafficking thing scares me shitless, so that might be the main reason why it worked for me, but it also scores in terms of cinematography and writing. It serves as a perfect starter if you’re in the mood for a Saturday evening horror marathon.

#2 Les 7 jours du talion

The plot according to IMDB: A doctor seeks revenge by kidnapping, torturing and killing the man who raped and murdered his young daughter.

Mini review: As you might have suspected from the plot summary, Les 7 jours du talion is hands down the most depressing picture on this list. It’s dunked in nebulous shades, depraved of musical accompaniment and deals with one of the bleakest tragedies a family could ever suffer: the murder and death of a child, and the desperate craving for revenge afterwards. It goes without saying that the film is not thrilling in the mindless horror sense. It’s heavy through and through, and really does treat the subject with the necessary amount of seriousness and dignity.

#1 C’est arrivé près de chez vous

The plot according to IMDB: A film crew follows a ruthless thief and heartless killer as he goes about his daily routine. But complications set in when the film crew lose their objectivity and begin lending a hand.

Mini review: C’est arrivé près de chez vous is an absolutely horrifying viewing experience. I see it as a Belgian counterpart to Funny Games — a harsh criticism of the exploitative nature of the media’s coverage of violence and the audience’s voyeuristic gaze. It’s shot in a mockumentary style, which helps immerse you in the story better than, say, Natural Born Killers‘ over-the-top shtick. The latter left me much less impressed and pensive afterwards. I highly recommend this brilliant cinematic satire if you believe you can stomach the disturbing and unsparing scenes of gratuitous savagery.

A Day To Remember – Common Courtesy


The kings of pop-punk from Ocala, Florida are finally back! After a three year break filled with relentless touring and several legal issues with their label, A Day To Remember have recently self-released their fifth album Common Courtesy. Today I want to write a couple of words about this long-awaited follow-up to What Separates Me From You.

The quintet stays true to their blend of pop-punk and metalcore known to fans from day one, except that they’ve further perfected the mix which results in their, in my opinion, most balanced album to date. Amidst these thirteen tracks you will find the heaviest songs, the catchiest pop-punk anthems and arguably the best ballads that the guys have come up with so far…and that is saying something.

The guitar work, which already saw a huge improvement on the predecessor in terms of melodies and technique, has even further ameliorated and is laced with minute details that you might not catch even after your tenth listen-through. The drumming has also seen a boost in terms of drum fills and variety which is guaranteed to keep you interested throughout the entire fifty-four minutes.

Next up are the vocals…and I know that the next sentence is one that I’ve written countless times in 2013, but it seems to be a constant phenomenon this year: they’ve become even better than in the past. Especially the clean parts are more melodious than ever before and they feature more back-up vocals and harmonies by the guitarist. Lyrically, it’s standard ADTR, which means that many passages will get stuck in your ear from the get-go. A truly charismatic aspect this time around is that there are several interludes of the band talking and joking in the studio, which just gives CC that “it’s almost like I’m there” feeling.

Time to finish this up, so I’ll be brief: this is, without a doubt, my favorite output by the band thus far since it’s the ideal fusion of all the elements that make A Day To Remember what they are and I strongly recommend giving this record a listen. I can only hope that it will blow your mind as hard as it did mine. For more information, visit the band’s Facebook page, listen to the song below and absolutely go see them live if they are in your area…you will not be disappointed.

O’Brother – Disillusion

O’Brother delivered the album of the coming autumn, although it was already released back in August. Maybe that’s the reason why I only discovered this little depressive piece of prog just a few days ago.

A very timid fade-in welcomes the listener in the first song before merging into a psychedelic and dark blues song, with a touch of Muse vocals. Disillusion is a very versatile album, sometimes hard to digest, sometimes just beautiful and melancholic. The album probably won’t be everybody’s darling after a first listen, but as the run-throughs amass, the structure behind all this melodic post-hardcore, post rock and progressive tastes becomes more and more catchy.

The LP is a permanent stop and go, it sometimes attacks you from behind, sometimes even annoys you to death, and sometimes just grooves towards Armageddon. The bass in Context chases you through dark woods while the guitar gives you saving signs from a very long distance. The vocals vary between warmness, a depressive version of Matt Bellamy and even become too “90s” from time to time, which is forgivable considering the overall image.

Doom and sludge are logical consequences of the atmosphere created on Disillusion. Perilous Love combines nearly everything mentioned above; to describe it banally: this song just thrashes you in every possible way and speed. The following Path of Folly delivers a calming and slower song and gives you a moment to grasp at something for the first time during the first listening.

Oblivion is a 9 minute boulder changing its directions from straight forward post-hardcore to progressive madness and calming down for almost 4 minutes before reviving and collapsing in pain. The title song again sums up the whole dark soul of this autumn storm with its threatening beginning, its dangerous bass, a beautiful wall of sound and its brilliant change into a grooving prog song after 4 minutes. If I had to just pick one song on this album, it would be this one.

The way through this forest ends after 54 minutes. You may enjoy reentering it a few more times.

Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County

This is my first time ever reviewing a movie about aliens. Out of the long list of human-invented monsters and entities, I find our fabricated image of aliens to be the least scary and/or interesting, so I don’t seek out stories involving them. I am tired of seeing the same old pale inverted triangle heads parading around the earth with their long limbs, technologically advanced spaceships and shady intents. I have yet to see a movie that deals with them in an exciting way and doesn’t use the worn-out stereotype of the extraterrestrial tyrant with supernatural powers.

Sadly, Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County does not challenge our idea of extraterrestrial life, either. But it did capture my attention because it is a straight to TV movie that came out one year before The Blair Witch Project and was marketed as real footage, as well. (By the by, the fact that this actually worked is hilarious. Aside from the fairly obvious movie mistakes, like glaring audio/visual asynchrony and the like, the makers included the alien actors in the credits.)

The film, which features interviews with all sorts of “professionals” in between the found footage, is told through the lens of a kid who wants to document his family’s thanksgiving get-together with his new camera. They’re all having a medicore time until the three brothers go out to check what’s wrong with the electricity. They notice strange lights in the distance, decide to investigate and end up witnessing a strange ritual performed by aliens in front of their spaceship. Things go downhill from there.

The acting struck me as substandard and very distinctly amateurish (except for the little girl, who managed to unsettle the ever-living hell out of me), which shattered hopes of the film feeling real and dangerous for me right off the bat. As entertainment, “okay” is the word I would use to describe it in a nutshell. Truth be told, this is far from the worst outcome. I actually do think it is suspenseful, and the alien intruders have some pretty creative methods to mess with the family. The psychological manipulations, especially towards the end, are seriously unnerving. I’d love to spoil a specific scene here, but I’ll keep it as vague as possible by revealing that people end up putting their tongues where they don’t belong, and it leaves you… puzzled. There are very few jump scares, which I appreciate, as well. The film tries to build to a climax of terror by using tension and subtly disturbing occurrences.

I’d say that watching Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County can serve as a nice Friday evening pastime for found footage/suspense/alien fans. The movie is not groundbreaking or challenging in any way, but it’s one of the more tolerable alien flicks I’ve seen, if that counts for anything coming from an alien flick avoider.

Scar The Martyr – Scar The Martyr


As you might have noticed from some of my previous reviews, I follow everything Slipknot and its members do almost religiously. Which is why I was very delighted when I learned that Joey Jordison, their drummer, started a new project called Scar The Martyr earlier this year. Not much was known by then and first studio previews left me quite underwhelmed since there was no real structure in the various clips. Fast forward a couple of months and we see the release of the self-titled album, to which I’ll give my two cents today.

The opener Dark Ages immediately sucked me in with its heavy rhythm and I saw my bopping head without even realizing it. The whole thing threw me back to my early teenage years where nu metal was at its peak and I slowly started getting into heavier music. Let me just take a step back here and say that STM is in no way a cheap copy of the “classic” bands, but instead they’ve added several industrial elements to their sound, which brings a refreshing note to the fourteen songs.

The record is chock-full of, for lack of a better word, heavy-ass riffs and super melodic fast-paced solos which leaves close to new room for a rest. Just the way I like it, basically. The drumming is rather basic, if you consider who is sitting behind the drum kit, but it perfectly drives the ensemble to where it wants to go. However, I do have to nag a little bit and say that quite a few songs start out the, almost, exact same way with a rhythm on the toms…it isn’t very innovative but it’s not too obnoxious. Keyboards are also present, but rather to accentuate the music than being put in the spotlight.

The next major selling point, which seems to be the recurring theme of 2013’s albums, are the vocals. While the rest of the band is composed of relatively known musicians, the singer is the rather unknown Henry Derek…but the man can sing and scream like no tomorrow. His clean vocals are so ridiculously melodic that I can never wait for the choruses, where they are mostly used, to give me goosebumps. I might be a bit off here, but in certain spots he reminds me of Mike Patton during the The Real Thing era. The screams don’t have to hide behind those of any other famous loudmouth’s either and especially the duality between the two is just breath-taking.

The only downside to this album is the length, because at seventy-five minutes total the record loses a bit of its effect. I know it sounds silly but I’m convinced that if it had been at slightly under fifty minutes, it would have left you leaving for more instead of completely saturating you. The unbelievable thing is that there are two more, digital, versions: one with a playtime of ninety-two minutes and one with slightly less than two hours. It’s a bit of a dumb nitpick but it was the only real thing that bothered me, so I had to share it with you. Nevertheless, I definitely recommend this album to anyone who wants a refreshing throwback to a long-forgotten genre. For more info, go visit the band’s Facebook page and be sure to check the song below.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hl_ej-OupkI]

Sipping – 49.25/6.20


France is known for many things. Like losing wars, being romantic and Louis de Funès but metal is not a big export it can claim. While they do have a handful of really good and even well-known bands that made it internationally, they are mostly know musically for their pop and rap. Today’s review is about a nu metal band from the hexagon: Sipping, who released their debut EP 49.25/6.20 earlier this year.

As mentioned before, the sextet plays nu metal in its “oldest” form…complete with rap vocals, screams and scratching. There is one thing that does stand out though: they sing in French. While that makes it more difficult to appeal to international audiences, it is a distinctive feature which I welcome, since it’s rarely done these days.

The production is solid but not quite where I’d like it to be, since, at least in my opinion, the genre gets most of its momentum from a strong sound. It is, however, not to the point where it’s impossible to listen to, so don’t dismiss it before you gave it a listen. The drums are nothing you’ve never heard before but well played, delivering an appropriate base for the rest of the music. Guitar wise it’s nothing to write home about but sufficient to not make you run away during these eighteen minutes.

The rap vocals generally follow the same rhythm without many surprises, and the occasional screams could be a bit more frequent for my taste. The same goes for the vocals as for the rest of the six tracks: not bad, but nothing spectacular. The intro deserves a special mention since it features Nyan Cat…whether that is positive or negative is up to you; I liked it.

All in all, this EP did not blow me away but I can see what the band tried to do and I welcome it. The general consensus is that nu metal is dead, but attempts like these to revive it always make me feel nostalgic and I can’t completely dismiss it. If you get a chance to see the band live, as I did when I discovered them, I would recommend that to the recorded version but if you’re hungry for some new-old stuff: be my guest. More information can be found on the band’s Facebook page and you can make your own impression by listening to the song below, which oddly enough sounds better than the version on the EP I got.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qF9r9mFHW1M]

Plan 9 from Outer Space


The (film) world surely does not need another extensive Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) review and that’s exactly why I won’t do one. The following few lines simply include some subjective thoughts and views about the mother of all “The worst movie ever made” films.

First off: there is no way in hell that Plan 9 from Outer Space is the worst picture ever made. Even though it commands the top slot in most of the “worst movie” lists throughout the internet, it does not occur in my personal top ten and I am not even sure if it would appear in my top twenty. Why? Because it entertained me. I didn’t expect an intellectual, social drama about life and death with a multi-million budget, directed by Woody Allen. I expected a b-movie science- fiction thriller film which I hoped would amuse me for the next 80 minutes, and it did.

For the few among you who haven’t seen this classic: Edward D. Wood Jr.’s Plan 9 from Outer Space is about Aliens who try to contact the human beings on earth because they fear that the human race will destroy the whole universe by creating a doomsday bomb. In order to get the desired attention, the aliens implement Plan 9: resurrect 3 dead people, aim to create chaos and plan to kill humanity in order to save the universe.

Ok, Plan 9 brims over with movie mistakes, the plot is cohesionless and consists of inconsistencies. The dialogues are just damn brilliant and most of the time make absolutely no sense. The budget should have been around the price of a Tata Nano involved in an accident. The special effects are antic, even for the year 1959, and the requisites probably come from the local toy department. The acting is lousy and even the “old” silent Lugosi stock-footage, which the story is built around, is far below average.

To be honest, the movie is a disaster on every level, BUT it fascinates me and I couldn’t have cared less about all this cinematic incompetence mentioned above. Plan 9 is an amiable alien/zombie Z-Movie made by people who loved cinema. You can argue about their talent and they may have had no cinematic knowledge but you can’t deny the enthusiasm and the movie’s charm.

I kinda love it. Watch the movie for free:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5DZhDH8eew]