The Wizard


I’ve been into video games for nearly two decades now and I have to admit that I appreciate the good old Nintendo or Super Nintendo console over a Wii or a Play Station 3. This is mostly an emotional decision because (S)NES games always remind me of my great childhood and make me feel like I’m going back in time, caring about nothing but beating a game together with my friends. The heroes of our childhood were all perversely franchised in the nineties. Children were and still are very important customers and this was something Nintendo realized very early. The Wizard from 1989 is a very good example of showing how important kids are as consumers. If you try to watch the movie objectively, you realize very soon that it sucks and this on so many levels, that I don’t know where to start.

The Wizard is a typical 90ies kiddie movie with the adults most of the time behaving like primates on LSD or completely stupid and irresponsible imbeciles. Ok, this also was the case in other genre movies like Home Alone or Home Alone 2, but this time they really overdrew it.

Nick (Christian Slater) is playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game.

Furthermore, I do agree with people saying that the whole movie is a commercial full of product placement with Nintendo and Universal Studios Hollywood being the most present ones.

Unfortunately people concentrated too much on putting Wolfman, Frankenstein, Mario and the Turtles into the movie that they completely forgot about realism and so the adult society is pictured as an anarchistic, unethical and unmoral Kinderwunderland without any real risks. Always remember kids that it is highly unrecommended to:

  • hitchhike a few hundred miles to get to a Nintendo tournament or to California,
  • look for a ride on a deserted highway,
  • to kidnap your, even younger, autistic brother from an institution,

it also should be nearly impossible to:

  • participate in a Nintendo tournament without your parents accordance,
  • to book a hotel room when you are underage,
  • to find someone who beats you in a game, with a powerglove,
  • find mid-fifties men who challenge you at a video game.

There are not only really bad dialogues and a few problems with the storyline but also other important and less important movie mistakes. I am not going into them now but when you decide to (re)watch the movie you, for sure, are going to discover some. I just want to say that nobody can play a game on NES, when it is turned off:

Ok enough bashing. I talked about this movie to some of my friends. All of them are aware of that flick being bullshit but there is also something different. The Wizard left an important, emotional mark on every 90ies kid. Back in these years children were completely flashed by the movie and all the different games in it (most of them heard for the first time of Super Mario Bros. 3 in the cinema which must have been a really great moment as a kid). The movie was huge and nobody cared about the product placement. Nowadays it is quite different, we are aware of the publicity but what is more important, we still do not care. In the end, even I get nostalgic from time to time and that’s the moment when I rewatch these innocent “childhood movies” (Home Alone, Turtles etc) and simultaneously feel safe and secure. To resume, this movie is really nothing special except for emotional 90ies gamer nerds.

And oh, one last picture:



The Sword – Apocryphon


The Sword are getting mature, a development that lots of people use to lay back and relax a bit. The stoner-metal-heads from Austin, Texas have a quite different view considering matureness. Apocryphon is less thrashy than its predecessors: their stoner-metal is more straightforward, or let’s call it “easier to follow”, but still very agile and filigree, with the songs standing before the concept this time.

Yet, experiments like psychedelic parts, jam-like passages of even electronic intros (Turbowolf’s Let’s Die says hello in the closing song) are still very welcome in The Sword’s sound, which feels like a symbiosis between Age of Winters and Warp Riders, featuring a new drummer who does a considerable job, well harmonising with the bass. For the rest, the familiar stoner songs rotate with those of the metal species, sometimes even combined with a nice portion of blues, as can be heard in The Hidden Masters.

As already mentioned, The Sword displays the “less is more” credo, which especially benefits the stoner lovers amongst the listeners, being supplied with more riffs and less speed (which doesen’t mean at all that they have become “slow” in any way). The quartet of course hasn’t changed into a Kyuss tribute band, or something like this. Classic metal is still omnipresent, call it “Black Sabbath-esque”, or call it “Ozzy-ish”, or whatever The Sword have been compared to since they have shown up, their signature is still kept up.

For those, who love the thrashy parts, Apocryphon may be some kind of disappointment. For those, who are more in favour of stony and groovy metal, this album will be worth a buy.

Recommendations: The Veil Of Isis, Cloak Of Feathers, Apocryphon

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LeUOPr4HTlU]

In Fear And Faith – In Fear And Faith


In April 2010 I discovered In Fear And Faith at a show and really enjoyed their set, so I talked to them after the show for a while and bought the two CDs they had put out at the time. However, they told me that they were about to release a new album called Imperial in June, so I decided to pre-order it on a whim. To make it short: I was overwhelmed by the progression they made to their previous record Your World On Fire and I listened to it repeatedly over the course of many months. Then as time went by the band underwent several changes and I was worried what might happen to them…my worry was completely unfounded since their newest self-titled release blew me away even harder.

A bit of an introduction: it’s a concept album about the survivor of a nuclear apocalypse who is the only one to be able to breathe without a mask, which evokes feelings of loneliness and self-questioning in him. He then travels through the devastated lands and is plagued by nightmares and such. This whole journey is wonderfully underlaid with different musical aspects, many of which gave me severe chills; in the best way possible.

The first thing you’ll notice if you’re not familiar with the band is that they have a lot of piano (not keyboard) parts and that the other “modern” instruments support the “classical” instrument, rather than the other way around, which is something rather unique to the genre in my opinion. This also gives each and every song a symphonic and epic touch but to a degree where it doesn’t overload your senses: you can listen to it without having to focus one hundred percent on every little detail and still be engulfed by the twelve songs.

Aside from the simply fantastic piano play, the guitars also stand out really well and give the whole thing the perfect amount of heaviness. There are a handful of riffs that leave my mouth wide open whenever I hear them because they’re not only perfectly written but are also used at the perfect moments. To top it all off: they exactly hit my taste in tuning and production…a true treat. Due to my apparent inability to track down a bass line in music in general I can’t really comment on it too much, but in the few instances where the bass guitar is clearly audible I enjoyed it thoroughly since it complements the drums perfectly.

Which brings me to one of the biggest “wow”-factors of these forty-four minutes of goodness: the drumming. First of all, I’m absolutely in love with the way they sound: even though slightly over-triggered it exactly hits the spot for me. Secondly, the double bass play is just phenomenal and makes me automatically try to tap my feet along to it…needless to say I don’t quite succeed. Last but not least is the general rhythm that the drums have to them which exactly fits the vibe of the other instruments.

The other big selling point on this CD are the vocals, especially more so if you know a bit about their back-story. Quick sum-up: on the previous three records IFAF always had two singers who split clean and unclean vocal duties. In late 2010 they were only left with one, the clean singer, and the future was uncertain for a while…in 2011 however it was revealed that he was taking over screaming duties as well. My first reaction was mixed since he has a very clean and soft singing voice but on their Symphonies EP I was proven wrong. In the year that has passed his screams have improved further and he has even surpassed his former co-singer, in my opinion. The icing on the cake is a guest appearance by We Came As Romans singer Dave Stephens on the song The Calm Before Reform.

All in all, it’s quite safe for me to say that this album is a very strong rival to my current number 1 record of 2012 by Pierce The Veil, and it might even surpass it in due time. Ironically both bands hail from San Diego, California. I strongly recommend that you check it out for yourself and I hope you enjoy it even half as much as I do. More information can be found on the band’s Facebook page and a little taste can be heard below.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWhsZgDxl0c]

John Coffey – Bright Companions


A little hardcore/punk bastard entered my room, entered my turntable, entered my brain and left everything in a complete disaster. This dog’s teeth are sharp like razor blades. This John Coffey would surely have crushed that god damn rat with just one hand. Bright Companions was recorded in Sweden’s famous Gröndahl studio by Refused producer Pelle Gunnerfeldt, and it surely has benefited from this. The album combines screamo/hardcore attacks with some party punk parts, making many hooks extremely playful and fun to hear, hard rock riffs included.

Tunes like Me vs. I are those kinds of songs you just expect first when entering some sordid whiskey bar in the Netherlands. The guys from Utrecht really have a good feeling about sing-along refrains and kick-ass riffs. No matter how often you may have heard things like these, those Dutchman know how to make you listen to it for the one millionth time. Oh, oh Calamity ends with a melancholic farewell melody after the omnipresent vocals have raped you for nearly four minutes, children chant (from Gunnerfeldt’s own children) attracts your attention before Johnny Boy kicks in the door, punching you in the face once again while opening Featherless Redheads.

Lot’s of 90s in here too, say hello to The Offspring and Refused, but the foreground features way more John Coffey than any of the bands used for comparison. Or to put it differently: this Dutch bastard is way more likely to wear leather jackets than the boys from Sweden or California.

By the way, do song titles like I’ve Got A Bastard Virus I don’t Even Know Where It Came From even need any more comments? It has already been written, but beware of these vocals, the more you progress the more they will eat your ears. This album has got no bouncer songs; it is a bouncer album in its whole. Press the STOP button, spit some blood, and press the PLAY button again.

Recommendations: Me vs. I, Featherless Redheads, Romans
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGx4g5WxK68]

Down – Diary Of A Mad Band


Ok, so Down are playing in Luxembourg this month and I decided to give this band another chance to win me over. Having been a Pantera and Corrosion of Conformity fan since the early/mid 90s I did not exactly find out about the band recently, in fact I knew the first album by heart before I even bought it, thanks to my older brother who owned it.

Down are one of those bands that, while not crap, they only succeeded because of the “all-star” lineup, and sadly in this case Phil Anselmo. I do not hate Phil, let’s get that out of the way, I just do not think that he is anything special once he steps out of the Pantera shadow. He is great at screaming, with a passion I might add, but once he tries to sing he is just another singer. Another thing I never can get past is his big mouth. Phil is a simple guy and writes very flat lyrics. This badly shows in a genre that has many talented lyricists writing Lovecraftian lyrics or concept albums about life and death. Phil comes along with his redneck attitude and mindset.

However, the biggest disappointment for me is Pepper. Being a fan of Corrosion of Conformity and their riff-rock/stoner albums, nowhere does Pepper come close to the C.O.C. Material. The riffs are flat, blues-tinged rock that we have heard a thousand times already.

The band does have some great songs though, but every album has just as many filler material. This live album was recorded while the band was touring their second record and that is already the biggest plus as I hate the third record. The set comprises 2 Cds and 1 Dvd. The biggest plus is….well the set isn’t expensive. Yup, that is it, nothing else to say about it.

Now on to the negative stuff! The Dvd is footage of the band playing synched to the audio of a different show. At times the band is playing something completely different than what you are hearing/seeing. Seeing Pepper playing power chords while hearing him play a solo and so on. Phil is Phil, slurring his way through sentences, not leaving behind anything worth remembering. Pretty sad to see him like this. I can’t help but wonder why him and Zakk Wylde haven’t formed a band yet. Also the Dvd is not a full show, so at no time do you get the concert experience. The same can be said about the 2 Cds, a song plays then Phil dedicates it to someone and that is it. Just boring. The booklet is an insult. You have 1 band pic spread over the 2 inner pages showing the band on stage….from behind.That is right, you see their backs! No info, nothing. The tracklist is pretty solid as they do play the hits and best songs from the first 2 albums.

For fans only, but even many of those complained about the cheap cash-in. Remember, it was released by Roadrunner so it is not like they ran out of money. Release crap quality releases and then wonder why your sales are declining…
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmHs_S-5fHc]

The Devil’s Rejects


Before I decided to do this review I had the intention of writing a short essay about Rob Zombie as a director, screenwriter and producer. In order to prepare myself for this post I made the decision to re-watch some of his stuff. As I have seen The Devil’s Rejects a long time ago I decided to start with that one. I immediately changed my mind and postponed the idea of a biographical Rob Zombie post.

The Devil’s Rejects (2005) is Zombie’s second full-length feature and can be described as a sequel of his first movie House of 1000 Corpses (2003) although Zombie claimed in an interview that he doesn’t like the word sequel because it was his intention to make this film superior and completely different to the first one and that’s something he really succeeded in. The Devil’s Rejects is about a degenerative sadistic mass murderer hillbilly family becoming refugees as they are chased by the FBI and especially by Sheriff Wydell with the latter one going on a revenge trip with the idea of killing the whole Family. The movie is a very cool torture terror-film with a great 70ies The Texas Chainsaw Massacre flair mixed with a From Dusk Till Dawn road trip atmosphere. Furthermore, it is not only the atmosphere which I really dig and which reminds me of the above mentioned movies. Zombie also seems to have an extraordinary and special talent for location scouting, as the desert scenario and especially the Firefly’s home reminded me of Leatherface’s family house and surroundings. The disgusting motel scenes and the abnormal behaviour can easily be compared to the Gecko Brothers’ manners.

Don’t get me wrong the director doesn’t copy anything but you realize immediately where he comes from and what influenced him. This “sequel” is a filthy, uncompromising, violent and unconventional modern exploitation genre flick. The style is perverse and entertaining and one thing is clear: Rob Zombie doesn’t want to please anyone and he doesn’t care about anything.

The characters have a great importance on why this movie is that breathtaking. They are completely over-subscribed and exaggerative but never fail in being unsettling. Three main aspects why these characters work that well are first: most of them have a biographical origin. Secondly, Rob managed to get an ultimate cult-cast with amongst others:

Sid Haig as the best fucked-up psycho clown I have ever seen aka Captain Spaulding.

Bill Moseley, the sick, long-haired hillbilly Otis B. Driftwood and Spaulding’s son.

The crazy hyped-up sexy bitch, Baby Firefly, played by the director’s wonderful wife Sheri Moon Zombie.

William Forsythe as vengeful Sheriff John.

Matthew McGrovy (who died shortly after the movie) as Tiny, to whom Zombie dedicated the flick.

Dany Trejo as killer Rondo (what else?).

And the wrestler Diamond Dallas Page as Billy Ray Snapper, Rondo’s compadre.

But a cult cast is nothing without great monologues and dialogues and Zombie created epic ones which even make Tarantino applaud. The Devil’s Rejects is full of funny, hyperbolic, perverse and memorable quotations such as: “I think I can still smell your wife’s pussy stink on my gun… hope it doesn’t rust the barrel” or “When we get done with them, they’re gonna think King Kong came down from Skull Mountain and raped them a new fucking asshole”; which you can use in every situations on a daily basis.

I simply love everything about this movie (even the soundtrack), with maybe the exception of Tiny whose scars made me think to much of Freddy Krueger, but this is only a minor thing. The flick is radical and brutal with simply no deeper intentions. This is Rob Zombie’s best work and I still can’t understand why there are that many people who don’t take him serious as a filmmaker. He should go on making this crazy shit and I still hope that he is doing the Werewolf Women of the SS full-length film somewhere in the future. Great stuff.



Trash Monday XXXVIII


I sat down and tried to think of the gayest video I saw in recent times and this popped up and mindraped me (yet again).

Somehow, although it is known that he is gay…he still has to have a female. But the irony lies in the line “I wanna be with you and make believe with you”. Yeah…cos we didn’t already figure it out 😉
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWqJTKdznaM]

Mortal Kombat


In the early nineties there were two major fighting game series: Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat. And as you know, whenever a game is successful, Hollywood wants to make a movie out of it. Since Street Fighter got one in 1994, the Mortal Kombat faction soon followed in 1995, and to be honest: it’s not even bad!

The story is quickly summed up: Shang Tsung, an evil magician, hosts a tournament which will decide the faith of the Earthrealm and he is opposed by Raiden, the God of Thunder, who is played by Christopher Lambert and his chosen fighters: Liu Kang, Sonya Blade and Johnny Cage. Pretty standard story, but what can you expect from a fighting game? Then again, if you’re watching stuff like this for the story you must be a pretty confused person.

The fighting sequences are rare, not very long and not super impressive either. Not meaning that they’re terrible but I guess I was expecting more brutality…similar to the video games. The dialogue is average at best as well, with so many corny lines that it almost hurts. The acting is generally speaking decent but some of the actors just make you cringe.

You might ask yourself how I can say that this flick isn’t bad when all I do is criticize it. Easy answer: I grew up with the games and therefore I don’t care about all of the above negative points. There are many subtle and not so subtle references to them that make every fan happy; whenever Shang Tsung says the magic words “Finish him!” I see the blood-red writing in my mind and I have to smile. Plus there’s the characters’ special moves that are added in a few scenes; yet another wink to the fans.

Especially the villains are really well done in my opinion. Amongst them are the three ninjas Scorpion, Sub-Zero and Reptile as well as Goro, who is a four-armed giant. Even though pretty poor CGI is used for Scorpion’s trademark move “Get over here!” I’m still impressed by the Scorpion fight, mainly the fact that they travel into hell to finish the fight and Scorpion takes off his mask to reveal his skull. Goro also looks pretty much the way he does in the games, and as far as I can tell is done completely without CGI.

The main reason why I think this movie is worth watching however is the music, or more precisely the main theme. Every time you hear the famous voice scream “Mortal Kombat!” you know that shit is going to hit the fan. The rest of the soundtrack also has some other cool songs by bands like Fear Factory and Type O Negative.

To sum it up: check out this movie, especially if you’ve seen it as a kid and haven’t seen it in ages…nostalgia guaranteed!

Isles And Glaciers – The Hearts Of Lonely People


Before I start, let me just say upfront that this is probably going to be the shortest review I’ve written so far; not because I’m lazy but simply because there’s no point in over-analyzing this record. Nevertheless I want to express my thoughts on Isles And Glaciers and their 2010 album The Hearts Of Lonely People.

Even though the seven songs only amount to twenty-seven minutes in total, it’s one of my biggest “discoveries” this year since it’s a supergroup comprised, amongst others, of members from three bands I enjoy a lot: Emarosa, Chiodos and Pierce The Veil. There are also other musicians but to be quite honest…they’re not the centerpiece of this collaboration so I won’t talk about them.

Instrumentally there’s not much to say either, it’s very enjoyable but no real highlight. However, there’s no need for any highlights on the instruments because what this record, at least to me, is all about are the vocals. Jonny Craig of Emarosa, Craig Owens of Chiodos and Vic Fuentes of Pierce The Veil take you on a, for lack of a better word, beautiful journey with their amazing voices. Lyrically it’s very cheesy but not to a point where it’s annoying…I definitely love them.

To sum it up I can only say that if you’re into any of the bands I mentioned…you need to check this out, no questions asked. If you’re not, but you’re not averse to higher pitched vocals, I strongly recommend that you give this a shot. Sadly, the band is on an indefinite hiatus and there are no real plans of releasing any new material in the near future. But that’s OK, since they’ve left a mark in my memory with this debut. Check out the song below if you’re curious.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXxeev6kczE]