Tag Archives: gore

Begotten

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There is a lot of disturbing stuff out in the cinematic world and even though I have seen a lot, there are always films which literally fuck my mind. When I ask people about the most disturbing movie they have ever seen most of the answers are related to either the New French Extremism with Martyrs and À l’intérieur, the Italian cannibal films with Cannibal Ferox/Holocaust or the Asian splatter and gore genre with the Guinea Pig series and Ichi The Killer. I partly agree with the people and claim that most of those films are disgusting, brutal and controversial but in the end they are not really disturbing. This probably is a question of definition but personally, I think a disturbing film should have more to offer than simple shock value and that’s when experimental cinema comes into the limelight.

Begotten‘s premise is not easy to follow and there are a lot of different interpretations throughout the internet. I won’t concentrate on those but the movie contains all kind of religious references. I highly recommend watching the film without doing any research but to look some stuff up on the internet afterwards. The plot alone is probably one of the weirdest things I have ever read.

After director Elias Merhige, the script is inspired by Antonin Artaud’s Le Théâtre et son Double, Nietzsche‘s ideas on aesthetics, and a near-death experience Merhige had when he was 19 years old. To sum up, Begotten is an intense and dazing avant-garde horror experience, a cinematic wreckage and if this wasn’t enough, the film was shot on black and white reversal 16mm film and the director rephotographed, filtered and manipulated every single frame in order to intensify his surreal visions and artistic violence. Together with the unconventional decision to abstain from dialogues and traditional storyline the cinematographic brilliancy attains to perfection.

I am still enraptured by the grotesque and radical atmosphere, by the pulsing images and the raw violence. Begotten is a movie which you will never forget! And last but not least here is an interesting article I came across a few days ago: Begotten Antichrist: Did Marilyn Manson synchronize Antichrist Superstar to the movie Begotten?

Suay Laak Sai (Sick Nurses)

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Eric “recommended” Suay Laak Sai (Sick Nurses) to me because of a gory GIF he discovered on tumblr (R.I.P.). As I can count all Thai (horror) movies I have ever seen on one hand, I had absolutely no idea what to expect. So, before getting too excited, I just didn’t expect anything which was a good idea because Sick Nurses is really bad and I don’t understand why it still gets that many positive reviews from other bloggers!

The Film was written/directed by Piraphan Laoyont and Thodsapol Siriwiwat and produced by Prachya Pinkaew, director and producer of Ong-Bak. As so often with Asian horror (trash) movies, the fundamental idea is quite interesting but the visual implementation is antic.

The film takes place in a suburban Thai hospital, where Dr. Tar and his seven nurses sell dead bodies on the black market. As one of the nurses finds out that her sister is having an affair with her boyfriend (Dr. Tar), she threatens to call the police to blow their cover. The doctor and the 6 nurses decide to kill her and to keep the body cooled to make sure that it can be sold in the near future. And now, guess who is coming back to haunt the hospital crew in order to take vengeance?

Sick Nurses is a postmortal revenge movie which tries to sell/promote itself by suggesting some sex and showing one or two ok-ish gore scenes. I don’t recall how many times I’ve already said it but if you are not able to make a good film, you at least should hire some girls who will do nude scenes. This is in no way meant to be sexist but putting annoying Thai girls in sexy nurse costumes, showing some ass close-up views and kissing stuff but at the same time letting your actress shower in her clothes is a bit awkward, unimaginative and uncreative.

Uncreative is possibly the best adjective to describe the whole film and I had the feeling that the directors didn’t even try to implement their own ideas. In addition, the story doesn’t feel coherent at all. I would say that I recognize the directors’ intention to combine a postmortal ghost story à la Ringu and Ju-on with weird postmodern punk movie elements like in Tokyo Gore Police & co. Unfortunately, the result is a failed attempt since you have the feeling of watching two separate storylines that never really intersect. Not to forget the movie mistakes, the really bad acting and other obvious movie no-gos. Sick Nurses was done without passion, don’t waste your time.

Gabelstapler-Klaus kehrt zurück – Jetzt muss der Chef fahren

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Whenever the name Jochen Taubert pops up on your screen, kill your TV, burn down your house and run away, don’t even think about saving your children and wife/husband. After I saw the first 30 minutes of Piratenmassaker months ago, I swore on the Bible that I would never ever watch a Taubert movie again but I lied and I hate myself for it.
How could this happen to me? Well, while doing some cinematographic research I thought that I had found the sequel to the amazing cult short movie: Staplerfahrer Klaus – Der erste Arbeitstag (2000). Then I read that this so-called sequel was directed by Taubert and before I even could get sceptical it was too late and the movie was running.

Before you walk into Taubert’s trap as I did, I want to WARN you: Gabelstapler-Klaus kehrt zurück – Jetzt muss der Chef fahren (2012) isn’t a sequel AT ALL. The director tries to fool you as he chose a title which can easily be interpreted as the logical successor of the classic original. This is a cheap trick which is usually used in the porn business but in the end Taubert won, I was naive and the joy over a second Staplerfahrer Klaus eliminated all kinds of further research and even reason.
This film is an absolute audaciousness and Jochen T. shows the whole world again that he is 100% talentless when it comes to movies. The story is basically about a company where all the forklift truck drivers, due to food poisoning, call in sick. The boss’ secretary calls the employment agency in order to claim compensation and the boss decides to show the new workers how to handle a forklift truck. Everything gets out of control.

Even though I have the presumption that Taubert has read at least one of Lloyd Kaufman‘s books namely Make Your Own Damn Movie!, he is beyond remedy. Let me explain. Kaufman says in his book that everybody can do a movie or even should do a movie regardless the budget. If you are thinking about working on no or low budget (as Taubert does) you should at least profit by the stuff you have or you can easily get access to. If your brother has an old car which he doesn’t use anymore, use it in your film and destroy it. If the mayor of your city decides to blow up an old factory or the elementary school in order to build luxurious apartments, go there and film it because even though your story has no blown-up school in it, it is great footage which you can easily put in the film and it is for free!

In the documentary Blood, Boobs and Beast Lloyd  claims that if you have nothing at all to work with but you still want people to watch your movie or to get it distributed, use handmade gore effects, blood and other body fluids, and last but not least use a lot of nudity (sex sells!!) and a monster. As I mentioned above, it seems that Jochen has read or at least has heard of these instructions because he tries to carry them out but is not even capable to implement these easy-to-follow steps. The self-made vomit, which should be used in order to make the viewer feel “mal à l’aise”, looks just lame, the blood looks like (or even is) Ketchup and the “nudity” is reduced to boob pawing and girls in mini skirts. I am absolutely not motivated to write about Taubert’s cinematographic skills or the overplaying of the actors, everything can be read in my review of Piratenmassaker, because nothing has changed, everything stays the same with Gabelstapler-Klaus kehrt zurück – Jetzt muss der Chef fahren. I watched the movie on youtube and the best part of it was at minute 8 when youtube decided to give me a break and brought in a commercial. DO NOT WATCH THIS PIECE OF CRAP!

-Luc-

Fist Of Jesus

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What would you expect from a 15 minute movie Fernando Alle (from the almighty The Clones) recommended you and which was directed by David Muñoz and Adrián Cardona, the same crazy dudes who did Brutal Relax (read my review here)? There is only one logical answer to this question: Fist Of Jesus. A ultra-violent Peter Jackson (the Braindead/Bad Taste/Meet The Feebles era) reboot version of Monty Python‘s Life of Brian. That’s all, basically.

Nonetheless here is a personal synopsis: Jesus, who speaks Spanish perfectly (!) talks big and in addition promises Jacob to raise the latter’s son Lazarus from the dead. You can imagine what happens next, can you? Jesus manages to bring Lazarus back but something went wrong and the saviour and his loyal companion Judas suddenly have to face an army of guards, residents and cowboys (!!!!!!) who all start behaving abnormally and only have their assuage of appetite in mind. As Judas’ emotions begin to run riot, he decides that he can’t live with the terrible guilt anymore and hangs himself. Jesus resurrects Judas, unfortunately he has to try it twice (as the latter is still hanging from a tree) and convinces him to fight the armies together, with all kind of different fish.

I read on the official homepage that the crew plans on doing a Fist of Jesus feature film called Once Upon A Time In Jerusalem (you can donate here). I think that  Fist of Jesus works perfectly as a short movie but I also have the apprehension that the topic doesn’t offer enough material for a feature. It is the same as with the fake trailers. In the last few years we had incredible good ones (Machete, Hobo With A Shotgun etc.) whereas the full-length movies were disappointing. Nevertheless I wish the crew all the best and it would be great if they could prove me wrong and make a great movie out of the brilliant Fist of Jesus.

Watch the movie here:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuKV2Z3eYTY]

Banana Motherfucker

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The movie title stands on its own and if you are into fun splatter flicks, you can easily skip the review and just buy the dvd for 4-5 euros HERE.

If you are not familiar with the Portuguese independent film crew The Clones (even though this is our third review after Papa Wrestling and BLARGHAAARHGARG!!), I am going to drop a few lines. Banana Motherfucker is commonly described as “(…) the harrowing tale of a group of filmmakers who unleash a new form of evil – Bananas! What starts off as a small scale attack becomes a total world-wide domination by this delicious fruit, resulting in about 80 deaths jam packed in 15 minutes.” (twitchfilm.com). Still not convinced? Well, I think you simply won’t like the movie then.

Banana Motherfucker (2011) again is a low-budget comedy splatter with a lot of do-it-yourself special effects/props and this time the clowns ehrm…Clones threw some really nice classic horror movie homages in. I won’t spoiler too much but every horror fan will recognize some Nightmare On Elm Street, Terminator and Jaws here, some King Kong and Cannibal Holocaust there but in the end Attack of the Killer Tomatoes probably is the most obvious one. Even zombie movies are attacked with the black guy, who dies in every zombie flick, randomly and completely out of context appearing just to die!

It is the whole concept of Banana Motherfucker which makes this 15 minute short flick that attractive. The mentioned above homages, the over-dramatized and hilarious bad acting accompanied by typical ’80s horror music. The Portuguese language with every second word being caralho (dick) and a nice filho da puta (son of a bitch) from time to time. But what I really like about the Clones and their movies is the love for detail when it comes to the death scenes. Although they are all DIY, they look amazing. There are decapitations, seperated extremities, impaled heads, eyes, guts and blood, in short everything a fun splatter needs. And the most important thing: you always have a huge smile on your face and this throughout the whole movie.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tA-vcDlTmeA]

P.s. If you are afraid of ever getting attacked by fresh fruit and especially bananas you should join the Monty Python self-defense course.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piWCBOsJr-w]