Megan Is Missing

Michael Goi, writer and director of Megan Is Missing, wants to get the word out about the dangers that lurk in the shadows of the Internet. Upon reading that his film is, in his own words, “harrowing in its realism” and “using only fact-based incidences to depict the lives of ordinary kids walking in the midst of extraordinary evil”, I did stop and wonder for a second what experience this 53-year-old dude might have with being a 13-year-old girl, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and decided to sit through the entire thing regardless.

A gut feeling is a powerful thing, and this experience served as a reminder to trust it more often. We find out that Megan, 14, is the popular girl who sleeps around, parties, drinks and does drugs in order to escape a past riddled with molestation and neglect, and her best friend Amy, 13, is the antithesis: an innocent, virginal daddy’s princess who still talks to her stuffed animals. When the Internet predator, hiding behind the moniker “Skaterdude”, steps on the virtual scene and makes up flimsy excuses about his webcam being broken, Megan is more than willing to engage in one-sided video conversations and eventually meet up behind a diner, not a hint of doubt in her mind. She gets abducted, Amy gets involved, and all hell breaks loose.

Sound hyperbolic? That’s because it is. Goi’s depiction of teenagers is dripping in condescension. Not only does it perpetuate the tired stereotype of the wild, promiscuous brat versus the innocent virgin with no grey area whatsoever, he also has a flawed understanding of how kids use the Internet. You’d think he would have familiarised himself with those habits before making an entire scaremongering movie about its pitfalls, but apparently not. According to this guy, 13 to 14-year-olds use video chat on both their phones and computers for even the most banal, redundant conversations, don’t keep other tabs open while doing it, spend the entire time staring into the camera and say things like “web me later!” Plus, some of the found footage consists of “computer files”, which means that he assumes kids have a tendency to record themselves while casually skyping with their friends, putting on make-up, having a friendly chat with their parents and other mundane, private activities – all of it recorded to their magical hard drives with infinite storage space. One could argue that I’m being nitpicky, but if you’re going to make a film that’s supposed to feel like a documentary, you’re pretty much obligated to go all the way.

There was one scene in the movie that did manage to send a chill down my spine, albeit for all the wrong reasons. There’s a dialogue in which Megan tells Amy about her first sexual experience in excruciating detail. Goi stated on an IMDB thread that this conversation took place almost word for word between him and a 14-year-old girl. I dare you to watch this scene in its entirety and then think about this information. Actually, don’t. Just imagine a middle-aged man interviewing a 14-year-old about the illegal blowjob she gave in summer camp a few years prior and feel your skin crawl.

The last 22 minutes might make Megan Is Missing a worthwhile watch for a horror fan. Many people found them supremely disturbing, and I can see why, but I was too distracted by the shitty acting and writing to be affected. In summary, what you can expect is one hour of boredom and 22 minutes of madness – it’s up to you whether you want to do that to yourself.

Teenagers, as a demographic, take the most flack. And while it’s true that we all did dumb shit in some form or capacity at 13 and my own experiences don’t negate the experiences of others, Goi’s portrayal of the teenage experience is so overblown as to be ludicrous and makes it hard to take Megan Is Missing seriously. I suggest that before you attempt to make an authentic film about the dangers kids face online, make sure that you are under 40, understand the Internet and have actually attended a party once in your life. It’s all too easy to make a film using every cliché in the book and slap a “based on real events” tagline on it.

Das Schloss after Franz Kafka (Berlin)


(picture by Stini Mimissonsdóttir)

I haven’t seen a play for quite a long time but last Saturday I had the opportunity to see a modern version of Das Schloss (the Castle) by my all-time favourite writer Franz Kafka.

On the one hand I have to admit that I was quite sceptic because I think that it is very hard to visualize the author’s ordinary, prosaic but clear writing style and to create the depressing atmosphere he is known for.
On the other hand, Das Schloss is, amongst Der Verschollene und Der Prozess one of the three unfinished novels by Kafka, which was posthumously released by Max Brod and there are no references of origin, we even do not know if Das Schloss was meant to be a novel. The requirements for creating a play could therefore not be better as the director and the actors are even more free in doing their own Kafka interpretation.

The novel fragment of Das Schloss contains a lot of bizarre and surreal elements which, to me, reflect the hopelessness (and later on helplessness) of K’s (the main character) aspiration to approach the castle. In the play these kafkaesque absurdities are crucial and portrayed in a very exaggerated way which turned Das Schloss into a rather humorous extroverted skit. The comical construction of the characters, especially Arthur and Jeremiah (K’s assistants), and the wonderful and dedicated way of acting helped to make the depressive topics of bureaucracy, power and helplessness more digestible.

The actors were just fantastic and if this is the new generation of (German) theatre we don’t need to be worried about it. The women, just like in the novel, were more or less presented as modern prostitutes but also seemed many a time superior to the men. The best example is Gardena the landlady. The character was incredibly believable and hyped up at the same time and reminded me of the amazing Sybil Fawlty from Fawlty Towers. Talking about the characters, I could go on and on. I could write about Barnabas whose inexperience in his job was picturized by a childish look and an infantile behaviour. I could write about K and his spastic convulsions, but this would go beyond the scope of this review.
Last thing I want to bring up are the costumes. They top off everything. Josa David Marx did a perfect job, every single costume was perfectly adapted to each character but also underlined/were responsible for the absurd and surrealistic aesthetics of the play.

If you are in Berlin during May buy a ticket, there is no excuse for not seeing the play.

Credits:
Production by gold&hiebe
Actors: Gina Henkel, Hannah Müller, Florian Prokop, Naemi Simon, Mehmet Sözer, Lucie Thiede and Max Thommes
Director: Lucia Bihler
Dramaturgy: Sonja Laaser & Sven Björn Popp
Composure: Bihler/Laaser/Popp
Scene: Kerstin Narr
Costumes: Josa David Marx
Music: Jacob Suske
Choreography: Mira Mann
Assistant director: Lea Volke
Dramaturgy assistant: Ole Siebrecht
Set design assistant: Wiebke Müller & Lucie Müller
Costume assistant: Sarah Elisabeth Nose

http://www.goldundhiebe.de/

Like Lovers – Former Selves

You might have probably read the name Jan Kerscher in case you’re an avid reader of our dear blog. As a short introduction, Jan Kerscher is a German aspiring producer based in Bavaria who’s well known for his recording skills. Luxembourgish bands like Inborn or Dirty Crows are the perfect proof for his unquestionable talent in motivating and pushing musicians beyond their personal limits. I’ve experienced it firsthand during the pre-recordings from Dirty Crows‘s debut album and I have to admit that I do have an enormous respect for this guy!

If Jan’s not busy recording new gems or performing on stage with Inborn, he’s still got enough output to share. This time with his solo project Like Lovers, debuting with a 6 track EP named Former Selves. What you can expect is a nice blend of post hardcore with post rock and indie / emo influences. The artist / band describes the style as a “post-songwriter project influenced by everything between Björk, Jeff Buckley and Beck” but there’s a lot more, obviously. The first time I listened to the EP it reminded me of Circa Survive, a band that I personally appreciate quite much.

The opening track Again nails it by being powerful and atmospheric at once, and boy, can he sing. This is post-emocore at it’s finest, simple and catchy, just the way I like it. Imagine this band playing on stage with 2 guitarists and the wall of sound experience will be fullfilled.

Teach me the right then is a fragile, acoustic dirge that is depressive without drifting too much into pathos. This is heartbreak and pain as it should be. Sad, gutt-wrenching and disturbing at once.

Honestly, I cannot help myself but think of Radiohead when I listen to Serious Man and Walls. The latter reminds me of a mix between Reckoner and I might be wrong but the track profiles as a Like Lovers song instead of being a Radiohead copy. But the real strong point of the EP is the variety of genres and talent in songwriting / performing. Too long and the acoustic version of Serious Man are the complete opposite of the opening tracks and could easily make every singer / songwriter burst in jealousy.

It is quite easy for me to write about music but the hardest task to me is to make / create good music. The worst part is to compose something with which you’re thoroughly satisfied and that can be presentable to a broad audience. Like Lovers can be more than a side project or a “past-time activity” and I’m really looking forward to where this big talent and potential might be leading.

Former Selves is available on Bandcamp for 6 bucks. Buy the EP and support the artist, please!

Stone Sour – House Of Gold & Bones Part 2


Stone Sour are back, almost exactly six months after the release of the first part of their double concept album, to deliver House Of Gold & Bones Part 2! But first, it’s time for a bit of a personal aspect: since early February I’ve been anxiously following the band’s news section in order to clench my thirst for new stuff. When they finally released a stream of the full album one week prior to the official release date, I immediately jumped on it and I only closed my mouth again when the fifty-one minutes were over.

The album starts off with the vocals and an atmospheric piano melody, while slowly introducing the other instruments, only to culminate in a heavy outburst with deep screams and crushing riffs towards the end of the first song. If you’ve listened to Part 1 you’ll already notice a difference here, since the whole thing has a by far more epic vibe to it. Generally speaking, the record also has a far more technical grandeur and even catchier choruses…you can easily notice that the band has definitely found its perfect musical mix here.

Said mix ranges from super rhythmic drum parts and melodic guitar playing to simply balls to the wall passages that will satisfy even the fiercest metalheads amongst the Stone Sour fans. Just listen to the bridge on the song Peckinpah and you will understand what I mean…still gives me shivers. All instruments are, as on the predecessor, spot on when it comes to production and song-writing; no note too much or too less.

On the vocal side, I’d go as far and say that it’s probably the band’s strongest output…simply because it seems that Corey’s voice seems to ripen as time passes. Lyrically, the twelve tracks continue the story of the Human and his, spoiler, journey to the eponymous building. The thing that definitely sells this album for me, however, are the last three songs which not only deliver a fitting end to the tale but each contain a reprise of three melodies from Part 1. You might think it’s a lack of creativity but I personally love it, since it nicely rounds off the entire musical journey.

As with my first review, this one’s not much different: it’s not very objective at all and you might strongly disagree with every single word, but it’s pretty safe to say that, for me, this album already has a spot in my Top 5 of 2013. I strongly urge you to give it a chance, but I’d advise that you listen to HOGAB Part 1 first in order to enjoy the complete thing. Visit the band’s Facebook page and listen to the song below.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwkGatmflbw]

Gabelstapler-Klaus kehrt zurück – Jetzt muss der Chef fahren

Whenever the name Jochen Taubert pops up on your screen, kill your TV, burn down your house and run away, don’t even think about saving your children and wife/husband. After I saw the first 30 minutes of Piratenmassaker months ago, I swore on the Bible that I would never ever watch a Taubert movie again but I lied and I hate myself for it.
How could this happen to me? Well, while doing some cinematographic research I thought that I had found the sequel to the amazing cult short movie: Staplerfahrer Klaus – Der erste Arbeitstag (2000). Then I read that this so-called sequel was directed by Taubert and before I even could get sceptical it was too late and the movie was running.

Before you walk into Taubert’s trap as I did, I want to WARN you: Gabelstapler-Klaus kehrt zurück – Jetzt muss der Chef fahren (2012) isn’t a sequel AT ALL. The director tries to fool you as he chose a title which can easily be interpreted as the logical successor of the classic original. This is a cheap trick which is usually used in the porn business but in the end Taubert won, I was naive and the joy over a second Staplerfahrer Klaus eliminated all kinds of further research and even reason.
This film is an absolute audaciousness and Jochen T. shows the whole world again that he is 100% talentless when it comes to movies. The story is basically about a company where all the forklift truck drivers, due to food poisoning, call in sick. The boss’ secretary calls the employment agency in order to claim compensation and the boss decides to show the new workers how to handle a forklift truck. Everything gets out of control.

Even though I have the presumption that Taubert has read at least one of Lloyd Kaufman‘s books namely Make Your Own Damn Movie!, he is beyond remedy. Let me explain. Kaufman says in his book that everybody can do a movie or even should do a movie regardless the budget. If you are thinking about working on no or low budget (as Taubert does) you should at least profit by the stuff you have or you can easily get access to. If your brother has an old car which he doesn’t use anymore, use it in your film and destroy it. If the mayor of your city decides to blow up an old factory or the elementary school in order to build luxurious apartments, go there and film it because even though your story has no blown-up school in it, it is great footage which you can easily put in the film and it is for free!

In the documentary Blood, Boobs and Beast Lloyd  claims that if you have nothing at all to work with but you still want people to watch your movie or to get it distributed, use handmade gore effects, blood and other body fluids, and last but not least use a lot of nudity (sex sells!!) and a monster. As I mentioned above, it seems that Jochen has read or at least has heard of these instructions because he tries to carry them out but is not even capable to implement these easy-to-follow steps. The self-made vomit, which should be used in order to make the viewer feel “mal à l’aise”, looks just lame, the blood looks like (or even is) Ketchup and the “nudity” is reduced to boob pawing and girls in mini skirts. I am absolutely not motivated to write about Taubert’s cinematographic skills or the overplaying of the actors, everything can be read in my review of Piratenmassaker, because nothing has changed, everything stays the same with Gabelstapler-Klaus kehrt zurück – Jetzt muss der Chef fahren. I watched the movie on youtube and the best part of it was at minute 8 when youtube decided to give me a break and brought in a commercial. DO NOT WATCH THIS PIECE OF CRAP!

-Luc-

Killswitch Engage – Disarm The Descent


Before I start with today’s review I’d like to warn you that April marks the release of new records by several “mainstream” bands…so be prepared to read about those, since I love writing about records that I’ve been waiting for for quite some time. The first one of those is Killswitch Engage‘s new album Disarm The Descent, so here we go.

Their new album marks the return of their first singer Jesse Leach after a bit more than ten years of absence following the release of the phenomenal Alive Or Just Breathing. Just right off the bat: I won’t go into the eternal “Team Jesse vs Team Howard” debate, since I enjoy both their contributions to KSE. But I will say that this record by far surpasses the band’s last, self-titled, output with Howard Jones.

Musically DTD is very reminiscent of AOJB with a bit of influences from Jesse’s side-project Times Of Grace which clearly shine through. However, it does feel like their heaviest output to date since, except the typically extremely melodic choruses, you barely get a chance to catch your breath between the walls of fast-paced riffs, crushing drum beats and angry, heartfelt screams that come your way almost non-stop.

I have to say that the main gravitas on these twelve tracks, to me, are the vocals and the accompanying lyrics. While trying to keep to what I said in the second paragraph, I won’t expand too much on it but I’m a huge fan of Leach’s vocal performance in general, since his screams are super raw and you just “buy” what he’s singing. The fact that he’s vastly improved since his first output with the band just makes it even better.

To sum things up I’d say that this is definitely an amazing comeback and if you are, like me, an avid listener of the band’s debut album, you will immediately feel at home when you put on this record. Is it their best record? I wouldn’t say so…but it’s totally worth the forty-one minutes of your time and almost guaranteed to entertain for far longer than that. Check out the band’s Facebook page for further info and listen to the song below!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoga4cROMvE]

Clutch – Earth Rocker

“I’m an EARTH! ROCKER! Everybody get the message?!” Well if you don’t you’re probably a little deaf. After more than 20 years, Clutch have released one of their best albums, and many people say that it probably is the best one of the Maryland stoner quartet.

Earth rocker is, although it keeps like every existing cliché about the genre alive, a hard, authentic and bad ass road trip through the desert.  “If you’re gonna do it, do it live on stage, or don’t do it at all!” The opener relentlessly stamps through the sand, leaving the stage for Crucial Velocity, which does exactly the same. Stoner, garage rock, Southern rock and riff rock permanently shake hands, leaving no space for boredom at all, which is a difficult task to undertake nowadays, given that stoner rock often hasn’t really progressed since the 90s.

Clutch obviously had fun recording this LP and juggling around with harmonicas and near cross-over songs like DC Sound Attack! Unto the Breach even offers an excursion into punk rock, underlining the variety of Earth Rocker once more, and we haven’t even reached the middle of the record yet. The bluesy Southern rock track Gone Cold offers a short break to the muscle car engine, or gives the driver the opportunity to have a glass of whisky before hitting the road again.

It is needless to say that lady groove is omnipresent, too.  Points of criticism? More cowbell please!

This is an album which doesn’t take itself too serious, and so shouldn’t you. Just nod your head (you certainly will) and have some fun on the next road trip, even if it’s just to the next mall around the corner with your mini van.

Recommendations: Earth Rocker, DC Sound Attack!, Gone Cold

August Underground Trilogy


It seems a universal phenomenon that, as soon as people start labelling a movie “the most shocking ever made”, we want to see it. For me, it doesn’t even need to come from the mouth of an established film critic – it was a YouTube comment with 20+ thumbs up and carrying the enticing all-caps declaration “OMG, MOST SOUL-SHATTERING MOVIES YOU’LL EVER SEE” that coaxed me into watching the August Underground trilogy. I will say upfront that I have no qualms about including spoilers in this review because if I could, I would physically stop you from watching these cinematic atrocities, but I’m warning you regardless because it’s the decent thing to do.

The three movies, entitled August Underground, August Underground’s Mordum and August Underground’s Penance, were directed by Fred Vogel of Pittsburgh-based horror production company Toetag Pictures. He also stars in them. The “plot” follows a man named Peter and his fellow serial killing friends on a murder spree. This doesn’t sound like too bad of a concept if you’re into this sort of thing (which I’m assuming you are, seeing as you read El Gore), but there are a few problems.

Firstly, these movies are shot with what one can only presume is a toaster. I get that it’s supposed to give off the realistic thrill of a found footage film and grainy pictures are an important factor in this equation, but there are limits. The horrible quality actually distracts you from what’s happening (which isn’t much in the first place) and will give even the most fervent fan of the genre a headache.

Then there’s the fact that this is a series of movies that does not give a flying fuck about you, and not in an oddly charming, refreshing way like Gaspar Noé’s works, for example. No, August Underground flat out does not care about entertaining you, but it doesn’t feel calculated or graceful. It is the cinematic equivalent of a bratty, stubborn child who explodes in a frantically repeated chorus of “fuck you, I’ll do whatever I want!” a few inches away from your face. Nothing happens in these films, nothing can be taken away. There’s gore, alright, but it takes “gore for the sake of gore” to a whole new plane of cheapness. There’s an extensive rape scene in August Underground’s Mordum in which Peter’s girlfriend forces one of the male victims to cut off his penis, then attempts to penetrate a distraught female victim with the severed genital. Yes, it is exactly as bad as it sounds. It’s not funny like Braindead or kind of thought-provoking like Cannibal Holocaust, it’s just utterly despicable on all counts. This scene, like all the others dripping in gratuitous sadism, doesn’t further the non-existent plot – it is mere torture porn. But I suppose there’s a market for that, too.

Excuse me if I’ve fallen into speaking of the trilogy as a singular entity, but honestly, I couldn’t tell the three movies apart (and neither could the friend I was watching them with.) All parts, which came out within a span of 6 years, have a similar structure, namely no structure at all. It blows my mind how there’s no down-time per se and you’re immersed in the “action” as soon as the films start, but those were still the most tediously boring 231 minutes I’ve ever attempted to sit through. Reaching this level of “dull” in exploitation flicks that feature such outrageous and creative violence takes real skill, so I’ll give the makers that, I guess.

I understand that, on top of being lamentably no-budget, the trilogy was intended to turn out as ugly and realistic as possible, but there’s a fine line between “creating a terrifyingly real found footage film on a low budget” and “literally shitting out a movie.” It’s safe to say that August Underground belongs to the latter category. Avoid at all costs.

This review was written by our new freelancer Anna!