Type O Negative – Slow, Deep And Hard

This time around I decided to review an album I hold dear as I discovered it at the right time and connected with Pete(r) Steele and his vocals/lyrics instantly. So I apologize for the long emotional diarrhoea that is to follow.

Type O Negative are a band that I first heard back in 1995. I already knew the band because of my older siblings but did not know what they sounded like. Back in 1995 they played Black No 1 live on the set of a French show called Nulle Part Ailleurs and not much of a fuck was given by 10 year old me. October Rust came out in 1996 and my sister played it to death and I have to admit I thought it was OK (I was moving from a Heavy/Thrash Metal to a Death/Black Metal direction back then and thought it was too soft).

And that was it for me. I had written down Type O Negative as a Gothic Poprock band and it would take me a couple years to finally realize my mistake.

Fast forward to 2001 and the Carnivore re-releases. I fell in love with the first Carnivore album, which was Pete Steeles’ second band and the one prior to Type O Negative (abbreviated TON from now on). It was a nice slab of 80s midpaced Speed Metal, not too far removed from very early Overkill or Manowar. The second Carnivore album, although nowhere near as good due to a musical change to a less interesting hardcore/crossover direction, made me question my childhood judgement. My sister, no longer listening to music left me her October Rust and World Coming Down CDs, which I still did not listen to. Being able to surf online in those early internet days I came across statements like “The first TON album was supposed to be the third Carnivore album” and so my interest was reignited.

Now of course, I could not find the damn record so I forgot about it again. A couple years later (again) I find myself at home on a Saturday night, 4 a.m. and some German channel is broadcasting a festival. The band that was on was of course TON and their rendition of the unedited Black No 1 was both fun and catchy and had me hooked. Sadly it was the last song but the band was about to release Dead Again, which I downloaded. Dead Again showed me that the band still knew how to sound menacing and speed things up while adding some Black Sabbath and some Beatles to their sound. I was positively surprised and decided to get their other Stuff.

Which brings us to the actual album, Slow Deep and Hard.

I had recently split up with my GF and went to Germany to meet with friends living there. Before catching the train back to Luxembourg I had some time to kill in a store and ended up buying Slow, Deep and Hard along with the original Bloody Kisses CD. At this point I had already heard a couple more TON songs and knew I would like those albums (though I had no clue just how much). Needless to say, Slow, Deep and Hard (now abbreviated SDAH) became the soundtrack of that time for various reasons. The most important, and also the most obvious one for those who know the album, were the lyrics. SDAH can be considered a concept album about a break up. Out of the 7 songs, at least 5 fit the theme. You have the ridiculously titled Unsuccessfully Coping with the Natural Beauty of Infidelity, with the now infamous chorus I Know You’re Fucking Someone Else (which has become the unofficial new title of the song).Pete is self-loathing his way through the lyrics while dirges of doomy riffs, eerie keyboards and Hardcore outbursts build up this nearly 13 minutes song until it explodes and Pete is yelling at his ex-GF and calling her every name there is while detailing what occurred during their doomed relationship. “The prophets preach to forgive and forget, I am sorry but I am unable”, well put Pete.

Der Untermensch is the only song that feels out of place lyrically and has more to do with a typical Carnivore song, however if you do not listen to the lyrics it does not break the flow. It is one of those songs I like to show to easily-offended people just to piss them off because the lyrics are beyond racist. However, if you do not get that they are meant as a joke then you might be one of those who rant about Spongebob being a gay rolemodel for the next generation. Might as well join the Westboro Baptist Church then.

Up next is Xero Tolerance, a song about stalking your ex-GF until you find her making out with her new beau and decide to take your axe out of the trunk of your car and become an “equal opportunity destroyer”. Now don’t be stuck up, who doesn’t fantasize about killing people that annoy or hurt you? Get off your high horse and be human and show some sense of humor, will ya?! All in good fun, besides, she had it coming, didn’t she? Harhar This song is also one of the darker ones on the album, along with Prelude to Agony. Very doomy with Sabbath-like riffs, keyboards, chanting, Industrial noise and a nice acoustic outro.

Prelude to Agony is about raping the girl. Like all the songs on this album it is split into different sections, my favourite being aptly titled “Jackhammer rape”, ‘nuff said! Similar to Xero Tolerance, very dark and broody, but also fast towards the second half of the song. Might have the fastest part on the whole album. The rape being described in the lyrics is so tongue-in-cheek that at the end of the day, you ask yourself if he is referring to the speed of the penetration (jackhammer rape) or actually using a jackhammer on her. Very childish, yet depicted in a very poetic and intelligent way.

The next 2 songs are probably skip material for most people, I do enjoy the instrumental Glass Walls Of Limbo. I believe they used it as an intro before going onstage (at least they used it on the fake live album The Origin Of The Feces). It mainly consists of chanting and some weird noises that remind me of Vikings rowing. The Misinterpretation of Silence and its Disastrous Consequences is 1 minute of silence, plain and simple.

The last song is titled Gravitational Constant: G = 6.67 x 10-8 cm-3 gm-1 sec-2 and, lyrically, results in a suicide or the contemplation with suicide. The song is more lightweight, the main riff always reminds me of grunge bands for some reason, I don’t know why. Lyrically probably the most philosophical song on the album. No more cartoon violence, Pete actually talks about suicide in a very mature way. What adds to the experience is the fact that Pete tried to kill himself before this album, due to the GF. His arguments are not the cheap romantic goth ones but very intelligent points made by a person that made the choice to end its life. One of the last lines is the haunting “The scars on my wrists may seem like a crime. Just wish me better luck next time”. Thank goodness he didn’t add more scars to those mentioned.

The album cover is a picture of a penis penetrating a vagina and the title fits it like a velvet glove, pardon the pun.

Wow, I just spent 4 hours writing this review and am not even getting paid for it, talk about love for the music! Bottom line, if you get easily offended you will not get past the lyrics, TON are masters of sarcasm and black humor and they enjoyed pissing off people. No matter how morbid or tasteless the matter, it is better to joke and have people talk about it than to ignore the subject.

So here we are, a TON that sounds like no other TON, very unique, beautiful in its depiction of rejection, suffering and hatred. Possibly proof of the healing powers of music. Anyways, thanks Pete, your suffering helped others to make it through.

Dedicated to the memory of Pete Steele, none more negative.

Buy it here!

The Cabin In The Woods

I have to warn you: today’s review is going to be slightly different than the ones you’re used to. First of all, it’s not written by our resident movie junkie but by the “I like metalcore” guy, which means that it’s going to be a rather recent flick. Secondly, it will be rather short in order to avoid spoiling anything about the movie. And last but not least it’s most likely going to be a one time thing, so enjoy this unique opportunity…haha.

The movie I decided to review is Joss Whedon’s The Cabin In The Woods, which was released in cinemas, where I saw it, in April 2012. The release date itself is worth talking about since the film was shot in 2009 but didn’t get any movie theater exposure until 3 years later. This was due to the fact that the studio wanted to convert it into 3D, which, thankfully, never happened. One thing I want to clarify before I start: since the movie is not going to be released on home media until late September I will only talk about plot points that are revealed either in the trailer or in the first five minutes of the movie, so don’t worry about spoilers.

The main cast is comprised of mostly newcomers to the big screen except Chris Hemsworth, who should be known to most people as Thor by now. Interestingly enough this actually was his debut but due to the delayed release he was first seen in Thor. The group of five teenagers decides to go into a cabin located near a lake in order to party and have a good time. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? If now I tell you that only one typical new-age horror cliché is fulfilled, you might not believe it, but it’s true; except the obligatory stoner in the clique, the other four are well-educated people.

One could assume that this fact might turn this movie into a boring ninety-five minute fiasco but everyone who is familiar with Whedon’s TV shows, like Buffy – The Vampire Slayer or Angel, knows that usually nothing is what it seems. The same is the case in this motion picture, since just before the group is arriving at the cabin the viewer can see a hawk fly into some kind of force field…ominous foreshadowing. A bit further into the movie the group is, of course, attacked by something which I will not disclose and the movie goes its way but, again without wanting to reveal anything, with a twist.

The Cabin In The Woods was praised as one of the best horror movies in the past decade by many critics and I can wholeheartedly agree. But then again I’m no horror buff…I do however know a good movie when I see one and this definitely falls into that category. And one more thing I can safely say is that if you liked the two series mentioned above, you will absolutely adore this movie. I strongly recommend that you check it out once it’s out on DVD and BluRay.

All screenshots were taken from the official trailer.

Torche – Harmonicraft

Two-horned creatures puking rainbows in a pink candy-sky-land. One of those covers that just oblige you to buy the album, no matter how it sounds. The good thing in this case: it doesn’t just look like a drug trip becoming true, it also rocks butts right from the beginning. And I can’t believe that the first song sounding like a metal version of “I Want Candy” is a coincidence.

Torche’s third album is something like a newbie’s guide to sludge music. You may even call it pop-sludge. If Fang Island is the good-mood-metal band of these days, then Torche should be the one for happy sludgy holidays. Harmonicraft cuts its own path fluently until the end. Popish guitars never take too long to drift into a distorted outburst, walls of sound never finish up being boring. You may not like the Volbeat-like vocals. Fair enough, but you can’t really hold it against those cute creatures. One look into their lunatic eyes when vomiting in all colours of the rainbow, and resistance is futile.

During the middle part of Harmonicraft the guitars slow down a little, giving a short breath to the visitors of candy-land.  The length of about 38 minutes doesn’t allow too many pauses though – the next thunderstorm is already waiting to come down on the listener.

The release may seem to become more and more monotone at first appearance, but the dynamics of sludge need more listening sessions to be spotted. The strong riffs even sometimes drift into a 70s rock homage without being insincere at all. The only thing which doesn’t match the overall appearance is the doomy conclusion, with best regards from Black Sabbath.

Recommendations: Letting Go, Kicking, Sky Trials

By the way, their video for Kicking would be a perfect aspirant for Trash Monday!
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1obEt5dmmo]

Desdemonia – Existence


There is one Luxembourgish band that probably everyone from the metal scene of the country has heard about and has most likely also seen live at some point. I’m of course talking about the death metal legends Desdemonia. This quartet has probably been the pioneer of heavy music in our little country and has celebrated its fifteen year anniversary at the beginning of 2012. In late 2010 the band released their long-awaited album Existence which stays true to their in-your-face sound.

The first song starts off with a rather melodic part which quickly turns into a neck-breaking riff fest coupled with the ever-so powerful vocals and annihilating drums. And let me tell you right off the bat: this is something that will be the case for the remainder of this forty-eight minute record. But let’s go a bit further into detail, shall we?

The guitar parts have a real evil feel to them and, especially at a show, you just can’t resist banging your head like a madman. Yet they have melodic interludes to build up atmosphere and show that the guitarists can do more than just play simple riffs. The bass guitar is also nicely audible throughout the whole ten songs which, as you know by now, is always a plus for me. One thing that I found interesting in the guitar department is that the main riff from the first song comes back in one of the later songs in a slightly different variant.

The drums range from barrages of double bass attacks and blast beats to groovy parts where the already strained neck gets its last dose. Production wise they’re just how I like them: clean and powerful but with a nice natural sound to them.

However, the most notable thing in my opinion are the vocals: the two Dosser brothers, who also take care of bass and guitar duty, alternate between low growls and screams. It’s this little “gimmick” that simply gives this album such a nice dynamic. I’d say that the perfect song to showcase this is the second track called Overload.

In conclusion I can only strongly recommend that you give this record a chance if you are even remotely into death metal. In the worst case scenario you’ve supported a starving (wink wink) Luxembourgish act and in the ideal case scenario this record will not leave your playlist for quite some time. I, for one, was happy to re-listen to this record after almost 2 years and re-discover why I liked it so much back then.

Check out the band’s Facebook page and visit their official website if you want to buy the record. A little appetizer can be found below.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YSJEVDCVFk]

Gothic & Lolita Psycho

I most definitely developed a psychological unnatural affection for what I define as “Postmodern Japanese Cyber-Punk” movies in the last few years. I still do not know if I am ever able to review every single genre flick or if I simply get bored with these arterial blood sprayings, mutants, zombies, vampires and Japanese girls in school uniforms. At least one thing is sure, you certainly do not watch these movies because of the brilliant storyline and the incredibly talented actors. You watch them because of Rina Akiyama aka “Best Butt in Japan” for example and you watch them because of the fun factor.

After I reviewed Attack Girls’ Swimteam Vs. The Undead, Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl and Tokyo Gore Police, I decided that you could bear another Tokyo weirdo movie. This time I decided to check out Gô Ohara’s Gosurori shokeinin aka Gothic and Lolita Psycho. When it comes to Japanese gore flicks stories simply do not matter and they only diversify on a very small level and the best is that nobody cares about it. But there are nevertheless some aspects in Gothic and Lolita Psycho which I found very interesting and in the end were the catalyst why I wanted to write about the movie.

Compared to the last Japanese gore film I reviewed (Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl), Gothic and Lolita Psycho plays in darker surroundings or at least tries to build up a gloomier atmosphere without abdicating the excessive ballyhoo. Beside this fact there is something special which makes this flick quite unique for me. If you are interested in console fighting games, especially Street Fighter II on the great Super Nintendo and Tekken 3 on the Play Station, you will love the homages the director pays to these games.

You have to check out the Japanese Uri Geller aka Uri Gelleo which makes exactly the same sounds as Yoshimitsu from Tekken 3 and just like the latter one, he uses the tailor seat as a special attack. The Dhalsim imitation in the final fight is by far more obvious but not less funny. I did not see that coming. The last and probably the most subtle obeisance to fighting games also can be seen in the final fight when Yuki, the main character turns into a monster. They not only copied the sounds the monster makes from Tekken 3’s Orgre, no they also adapted its winning pose which I actually think is really cool. I am not sure if there are more game homages but as Street Fighter and Tekken are my all-time favorite ones you probably can imagine that I quite liked this flick. If you are into weird stuff, check it out and make up your own mind.




Fights and Fires – The Proof That Ghosts Exist

The Proof That Ghosts Exist (or how I would say: “the proof that totally unknown bands selling totally cheap CDs can actually be pretty catchy!”) is the 2011 release by the 4 young Englishsmen Fights and Fires.

“Fights and who..?” you might ask now. Well, the boys have started to build up some reputation in the UK for sure, their excessive touring over the last months actually also brought them to Luxembourg’s Food For Your Senses 2012 festival for example, where I had the chance to enjoy their show (check here).

I must say the opener of their album caught the whole heaviness and rudeness that filled the tent stage back then. 59 seconds of pure force followed by My Rusty, a mix of hardcore, postcore, punk and pop punk elements. “Are you kidding me?” No they apparently aren’t. My astonishment quickly changed into excitement, because this mix actually gives them a very catchy mark, very enjoyable if you like popish postcore elements these day (or back in the At The Drive-In times).

Shake It again sums up the whole Fights And Fires sound and even lets your hips move with its danceable refrain. Don’t worry; they never miss the right moment to smash your face with post and hardcore outbursts. In case this all sounds like a Sum 41 release to you – it is not the case. As already said, the odd thing about all this is the fact that they actually seem to be way more brutal during their live performances, which doesn’t mean that the album loses its energy. I would never have expected to encounter such a situation with a 5 € CD, coincidentally bought on a small festival. You just got to love such discoveries.

A head banging and hip moving experience, mixing punk refrains with “bear-ish” outbursts (that front man actually looks like a bear, cheers mate!). Drums, bass and guitar also perfectly switch from metal to disco (damn they gonna kill me if they read this). Although slightly flattening towards the end, this release is a very welcome guest in one’s CD player during a half an hour car trip.

Recommendations: Tracks 1 to 4 in a row!

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0M7-iZ1vHE]

Massacre – Condemned To The Shadows


Massacre are back!

The single includes two brand new songs written and performed by the new line-up. There really is no use in describing both songs, just check out the video if you want to listen to both songs, it will only take you 8 minutes. If you need a little more insight then read on.

I find it a bit difficult reviewing this single as I am a diehard Massacre fan and have been dreaming of a reunion for the better part of the last 15 years. Massacre finally agreed to grant me this wish, unfortunately, without Kam “the tyrant” Lee.

Musically, the band omits the atrocious sophomore album and focused on their classic From Beyond album. Rick Rozz manages to recapture that old school death metal feeling after having been decades away from Heavy Metal. The new vocalist Edwin Webb shows a nice set of lungs when growling his way through both tracks, shrieking here and there, but never captures the charismatic delivery of Kam Lee. But to be fair, neither does Kam nowadays. Still, I can not help but feel that if Rick and Kam had worked together on new music the result would have been better.

The lyrics are similar to those on From Beyond, Lovecraftian tales of horror, but again, I always felt like Kam Lee was the one who was responsible for the Lovecraft influence (a fact shown in his albums released in the last decade). So while I welcome the typical lyrics, I sometimes cringe and feel like it was forced upon them as it has become a trademark.

Riffwise Rick sounds like on From Beyond, the riffs, the groove, the tremolo-wanking, it is all here, yet it never touches the classic material. Now, do not get me wrong, the music is quite enjoyable, but it obviously does not compare to their classic songs. Before the review takes on a too negative note I would like to say that the two songs are quite enjoyable and fans of the band should not miss out on this release. I read that the band is working on an album for a 2013 release and am looking forward to it. The two songs show that the band embrace their old sound and are able to write similar material. All they got to do now is focus on writing memorable breaks and riffs, they sure have the structure and sound down.

Recommended to fans of the genre. Available here.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-svcA59hogA]